Hey Dan,
thanks for the kind words...really YOU did all the work, so take credit - same with that blonde chick - own it. Full responsibility for your errors and your growth.
BUT at the same time, cut yourself some slack
one thing I noticed about you - you are very hard on yourself. You have this idea that you have a lot to do. I see it because I used to feel that way - there's this underlying feeling that you need a lot of knowledge and skill to be good or worthy.
When we debriefed you said that you realized how far you had to go. That's simply not true. You think that you have to do more than you really do.
Here's my honest impression of you:
You are spiritual, intelligent, masculine, sexual, and open minded. You said that you like earthy, open minded, intelligent women. What kind of man do you think those women want? here's a hint - it rhymes with DAN! You already are the kind of guy your "type" is attracted to.
Your only real challenges are approach anxiety, and a feeling of not being good enough for the women you want. I'm telling you that you ARE.
My suggestions:
Stop performing and trying to get a good reaction. Be that playful, easy going, intelligent guy you really are, and just share that with women from the get-go. You will notice girls being more receptive, and then it's your move to just pick who you want. Start talking to your type. After a few times, you'll realize that your type is probably gonna like you back. I've internalized this myself, but it took some time.
secondly, handle the approach anxiety by getting out there and talking to strangers. Do that and you will be ahead of 99 percent of guys out there. Remember, you are learning to do something very different and powerful that NO other guys do. Don't be so hard on yourself. You have set high aspirations for yourself and you should be very proud of that.
Email me if you want to talk about this stuff on a deeper, more personal level.
Take care!
Brian