[FreeVerse]

Originally Posted by bossyboots

Thanks FreeVerse,
Vin says that capitalizing on windows of opportunity is attractive and that not capitalizing on windows of opportunity is unattractive.

Not capitalizing on windows of opportunity is unattractive BECAUSE it shows one or two of these things.

1) you might not be interested in her so she stops being interested in you.

2) You don't know what to do or you don't know how to escalate it forward.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

I've experienced this for sure - sometimes you have an opening, you don't take it and it never comes up again.
However, I've also had times where I've built attraction by NOT jumping on windows of opportunity.

Yes it is possible that it can turn into attraction if she already likes you and she wants you to like her and if it's done in a way where you're qualifying her. But in my opinion that works in situations where you'll see the woman again. If you see a woman and you don't approach and it's unlikely that you wont see her again... then, it's a bad choice to not open her.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

Now, before I found Vin's stuff, I studied mainly David DeAngelo and he has some 'techniques' where you playfully push a woman away while accusing her of trying to get you into bed.

For example, when she touches your arm and you look down at her hand as if to say "why are you touching me? we just met"
When this is done in a playful teasing way that demonstrates that you don't reeeally mean it, it can be very effective.

David DeAngelo and Vin are two different guys with two different ways of doing things.

That example there is what David DeAngelo does to show that he's the selector. I really don't think it's necessary to be honest. David DeAngelo likes to do things like that. I don't.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

I've done this maaany times and I could see the change in the girl of "this guy's different...most guys are trying to touch me every chance they get and this guy's doing the opposite"

Yeah true, most guys touch her... but the most guys have a bad vibe to them.

Most guys compliment women. but their compliments are agenda based. A few guys compliment women without a need to get something from her. A few guys touch a woman with the understanding that if done in the right way, it'll create escalation to sex.

It's how you do it.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

Although I found this to be effective for sparking attraction, I found a few problems with it:
1. it was sometimes an awkward transition to start escalating...the frame has to shift because I can't simultaneously push her away and move things forward.
2. If my state was a little nervous, I'd just make her uncomfortable and come off looking like a weirdo prick.
3. She can sometimes switch into "two can play at that game" and refuse to comply with escalation
4. She can sense that you’re “gaming”

1. If you touch her in a way that didn't flow with your communication with her it will be awkward. Anything you do that doesn't flow with the communication will be awkward.

2. Look at nervous person trying to do something and you'll get nervous too.

3. Touching her and accusing her of touching you is already known to most women. An average woman did that to me so I"m sure most women know that too.

4. It's to obvious to a woman with game.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

Even with all these possible problems, it’s worked with some EXTREMELY attractive women...

Some women like it, some women don't like it. Some women like bald guys, some women don't, some women like this while some don't like that. Also they might be gullible.

I think it works with them because other guys are easy... while you're acting like you don't like her will say "challenge" in her. I don't try to be a challenge. I like to get to know people, and when people put an effort in the communication I reward them and they like it and it moves it forward. I qualify them, I give approval and they enjoy my company because they feel comfortable around me. I give my gift which is sex, bonding, approval, etc. When I see a window of opportunity I capitalize on it and approach and move things forward in a way that's intriguing and comfortable because of my Warm Dominance.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

All in all, I'm finding it feels more congruent to capitalize on windows of opportunity but it means I have to distinguish myself and build sexual tension and intrigue in other ways.

Did you just answer a question you had for yourself there? Building Sexual Tension and creating intrigue is fun.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

So there it is...perhaps not as clearly asked as I'd like but I hope someone can shed some light on this...

Thanks again,

Z

You're welcome. I understood where you're coming from. My best advice is since your use to David D's stuff, Vin's stuff might be unfamiliar at first... but stay with it and you'll get how it fits together.