I recently read "Freedom from the Known" where the author (long ass Indian name) states that everything we do is at it's core, selfish. even if you are trying to pleasure someone else, you are ultimately doing it to feel good, i.e. you are doing it for your own benefit. The biological basis for all we do is selfish, I think...I may change my opinion at some point, because I also believe in a higher reality that goes beyond biological survival.
Authanticallyme - you talk a lot about needing trust and comfort. I've found that I trust and feel comfortable most with people who are not trying to impress me or please me, but are being themselves without a hidden agenda. I also have much better interactions, relationships, and sex, when I am that way myself.
My overall point with the two types of sex was to use sex as a metaphor for the entire interaction/relationship. A man who enjoys himself without too much concern for impressing others or pleasing others is by far more attractive in any context.
I personally enjoy GIVING pleasure rather than receiving, but I don't pretend that I'm a saint for this. Ultimately, it is what gets ME off - when I see a woman feeling great from something I did, that turns ME on. Only I can experience being turned on. I can't experience someone else's experience for them.
I love what you said about seeing someone's intention like 3D popping out of their heart. I think a purely sexual intention is not a bad thing to see in a man, as long as there is no intention to hurt. What do you think? Have you ever experienced that and liked it? |