Brian, i completely agree with your posts. some personalities just 'mask' their true intentions......nice guys surely can be doing it for their ultimate good, too...i agree....i know this becasue i used to be hihgly codependent, and had to realize that often the things i let people get away with, was for my higher good. there was often a hidden motivation......though on the outside, most people would have thought i was a saint, for all i put up with.
you may not agree, but i do think it works best when the man is the initiator........but this places the woman in a more fragile position. today, i see severly codependent women....struggling for control.......they do the pursuing, the initiating........and it looks really SICK to me. they flash men, offer threesomes, and take X rated pictures. they entice, seduce, and the like. IMO, this is to usurp the man and take control.....women know what men respond to on that simple palne of lust and the physical.......and they use it. i recently told a man, who has been having threesomes quite easily......(and its the women offering/initiating)......that these women do it for a rise of power. he of course, doesnt want to believe this, becasue then his ego would have to admit that it had more to do with the womans control issues, than it did with him being Preferred Stud. He cant bear that loss, and wants to believe that women are highly sexual and wired like a man (which scientifically, not many at all are....though maybe a few)....so he didnt listen to me and thinks im whacked. many women today act pathetic in their desire for a man, offering sex becasue that is the only way they can get any emotional scraps fed to them........
anyway, being the man appears to be the stronger of the two, i like to trust a man first. i wont feel violated when that happens; everything is freely given, with no strings. it is then, for me, that real intimacy takes place.
***I think a purely sexual intention is not a bad thing to see in a man, as long as there is no intention to hurt. What do you think? Have you ever experienced that and liked it?***
well if its PURELY sexual (that is the connotation in which you are asking the question)....i dont see how it CANT have some intention for hurt. i should say HARM.....harm differs from hurt. i dont like casual sex, sex with no strings, or one night stands. it is imperative for me to connect on a deeper level, and with spirtual purpose. i mean, sure, sometimes i get a rise when i walk in a place and men turn toward me....but ive learned a few things..and that is:its really no big deal, in 15 minutes he'll do the same to some other chick. i mean, there is always somebody prettier.....and a man looks quite easily, so i certainly dont take it personally of allow it to puff myself up. if i can detect a man is feeling that 'dynamic' with me, yes, it can be tempting IF im attracted (which doesnt happen easily for me as reasons mentioned above-need the spiritual connection)....but i also look at is as a fleeting, impersonal thing. i dont wantr to say men think with their d*cks, but my point is they are wired differently and have instinctual planes they must relax about, if they want to get to know me better. for me, it actually feels quite shallow or unimpressive, to have man drool over me (yes, even the hot ones)...i mean, its tempting for a moment, but then i remember everything ive learned. it just doesnt amount much in my book. thats solely my opinion, and only one angle i present here; certainly not all i think on this subject in this very post can be contained or explained as minutely as id like, because my other life calls. hope that somewhat answers your question.  |