 Journals | |
Today I was reminded in a POWERFUL way, how important it is to keep a journal.
This afternoon, I was beating myself up after blowing it with a cutecute girl who was obviously into me and wanted to talk more.
Long and short, we made a brief connection in a store. She was friendly, bashful, looked interesting, but I was sloppy about leading into a conversation and she drifted off. I continued shopping, thinking, strategizing, and waiting for the perfect choreography to happen again. I overthought what to say next, should I go back in direct, indirect, invite her to lunch...until my heart was beating hard and I spooked myself out of doing anything. I ended up paying for my shit and walking out of the store with that FUAAHHHHHHCK feeling.
So I walked home shaking my head and hating myself for letting another (my neighborhood is ridiculous for cute girls) beautiful opportunity come and go without doing anything about it.
Then, I remembered what a wise man once told me.
No man can be faulted for failure.
Unless he fails to learn from it.
So I get home and dust off my journal.
I haven't written in it for months. When I WAS writing in it regularly, I remember making ENOURMOUS big picture realizations almost every time I wrote in it.
I'd detail all the approaches I made, the exact logistics, what was said, how it went, and most importantly...I always detailed all the things I did RIGHT and what I could've done differently. So, I always came away from an encounter with an EDUCATION.
Today, I wrote it all out. In just 20 minutes, I went from feeling like I fucking blew a huge opportunity to thanking God and Heaven for the huge opportunity to learn.
After journalling, I know exactly what I did right - what I did wrong - how I could've made the interaction sing - why I faltered - what I could've done to make the whole thing fun and fruitful. I LEARNED from the experience.
I put down my pen and walked away. Not only did I FEEL so much better, but my head was buzzing. In the process of getting it out all, I'd made, literally, the biggest BIG PICTURE realization I'd ever made about how men and women get together (that's another post).
So, keep a journal. It's huge.
Vin (in Dating Diablo) mentions how he wrote out analysis for every interaction and how it helped him make dramatic improvements early in his development with pickup. Now I get it. Thanks, Vin.
`Spuck  |