Brian,
I have to admit you are making sense. I am going to be a little more cautious in that she is a professor at my school. If I have another opportunity, I will do my best to follow your advice.
My sticking point, as I am learning, is all in my head. I did not realize that my bootcamp training was actually working. She had NO interest in my books at all! But I have so much bad social programming that I am going to have to go through these mistakes until I *believe* that I can do it.
After the night was over I asked myself, "How could this night have turned out if Brian was in control?" I know the answer now. One important point, though, is that I could not have had sex with her while she was in my office. It was early in the day and students were walking by!
But I could have invited her to meet me for coffee in my office later that night. I could have closed the door and escalated.
I have learned from you the power in being BOLD. I have become significantly bolder since bootcamp thanks to your training, specifically one of the drills. There is an old saying, "Fortune favors the bold." I lost an opportunity, but I did learn an important lesson.
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Everyone - thanks for your feedback and support. During frustrating times like these, it's really nice to know that we have a community to draw strength from.