[ballin]

So I'll admit that I have had the issue of not-knowing specifically and definitely what I am shooting for with women. On one hand, I want to be able to continue to practice my skills even after getting lays, but on the other hand I want a woman who I am seeing regularly so that I can grow sexually and become a sexual master. As Daniel Rose often talks about, being an expert in the bedroom will give you the most confidence and also is the best way to keep girls coming back for more. I have decided that I want to keep hooking up with Germany so that I can develop my sexual skills and won't worry about other girls for now. After all, she is going back to Germany in July so I won't be out for too long.

All seems to be going ok so far. We have had sex probably more nights than not since this all started two Fridays ago. We haven't had any relationship status talks and I am not bringing this up myself as Vin recommends in Dating Diablo.

I see two main problems for me right now. For one, I haven't had a sexual relationship with a girl in a while so I am constantly battling my emotions of worrying about keeping her. I am trying really hard to not act needy, but find myself worrying too much sometimes.

Secondly, I am not as good in bed as I thought I would be. (I'll post a link to this in the sex forum since this is relevant there) With the last girl I had sex with some time ago, I had fucked her for a long time in several positions, etc. With Germany, I have had extremely shitty stamina. I know that this is not all that matters, but I am wondering why I am consistently so pre-mature. It's not like I've never had this problem before, but it's never been this consistent a problem.

I typically eat her out first and can feel her body tremble when I do. I'm pretty sure those orgasms are real. I sometimes stay hard after fucking her to keep going for a tiny bit... but I'm not sure if she's lying about those orgasms... I think maybe. All in all, I feel the sex is descent enough for now, but that I must improve (and want to anyways for my own benefit).

The second to last time I had sex with her was particularly disastrous. We were lying in bed. I took my clothes off since I didn't want to sleep with them on and she left hers on. We talked for some time and I began to worry that she was going to play the holding off game already. At one point I grabbed her and manhandled her to the other side of the bed. This seemed to turn her on enough to have sex. My main mistake this night: despite my knowledge of the ill-effects weed smoking has on game, I decided to have my last smoke (I quit) while getting my dick sucked since I always wanted to and also because it had increased my stamina greatly in the past. So it was going great. I was on top of her sticking my dick in her mouth and smoking this blunt. She doesn't smoke but even got so into it that she took a puff. Then (it was really good stuff) I became extremely high when she was fucking me from on top and I think I even busted a nut before I was in all the way. So much for the stamina help. I then got so high that I had one of these rare paranoid episodes that I don't normally have. Since she was grinding my cum all over us I led her to the shower. It was ok but I started acting kinda strange being so high. I then became so high and paranoid I couldn't even lay with her and let her go to sleep while I did other stuff. Everything seemed fine in the morning but I know that it must of been a huge turn-off and weird thing for her. I quit smoking like I planned and am glad for it (also because I'm on the job hunt and don't want to fail a UA).

We had sex again last night, and it seemed to go down pretty descent. I am slowly becoming more dominant in the bedroom and incorporating a little dirty talk.
The one problem was that she seemed to be holding off last night. She got in bed watching a movie with me with her clothes on and tried to pull the "I'm tired I'm just gonna fall asleep" thing. I wasn't tired and didn't want to have the first no-sex night after what happened the night before. So I began giving her a back rub and then proceeded to trade off massages with her on various parts of our bodies. I got it to where I was massaging her legs and inner-thighs and just started rubbing her pussy through her panties. It was all downhill from there.

ADVICE PART

So I have been wondering exactly how I should be handling this relationship. I don't know how often I should be hanging out with her (we hung out a lot last week). I don't want to smother her but at the same time I want to progress things sexually to where that relationship is stronger. I don't know how much she expects to sleep with me during the week. I have all the community sex literature and am refreshing on those. I kinda tried to communicate to her that I am all about exploring new things sexually and becoming more masterful but I can't tell if she gets it... or would just rather have a guy who is somehow naturally really good at sex. Like I said before, since it's been so long for me I probably am being overly worried and needy but I am trying to fight this.

Any advice is much appreciated as always.

Thanks for reading (Jeez my posts are always so freakin long).