[Rewok]

Hey,

I am about to rock your fucking world.

My life has been flipped topsy-turvy lately with the loss of my laptop and the crack lab that is the "Hammer" computer lab during finals week, (It is 5:27 am over here in chilly New York, by the way) but I was just talking with my good buddy Orleans, and have a pretty crucial point to share with you... that I am almost positive your father forgot to teach you.

I am sure he had good intentions, and it was just the stressful, 10-hour workdays... not the double-whiskeys in a rocks glass. Honest.

Before we get to that, however, let me tell you about one of the crazy testosterone-laced adventures Orleans has dragged me into over the years. (Sorry in advance, good buddy.)

You see, we got to talking one day after I stalked him down (with a flurry of mean-spirited Personal Messages) after I had read he was the "Greatest Pickup Artist Under 21" on a competitors forum that I would probably get banned from here permanently for linking to... and that I already have been banned from. (Four fucking times, those homos)

And it is 100% wholly the fault of this 5-foot 6-inch Canadian man with boyish features and the UNCANNY ability to piss off pretty much anyone within 4 to 6 miles, when he tries.

In fact, he single handedly brought out a vicious, razor blade, biting sarcastic wit in me that occasionally made the neighbor's 4 year old, 195 lb German Shepard wet itself with it's tail between it's legs.

It got to the point where I could not sit down at the dinner table and have a civil conversation with my father, and every time my (then) girlfriend would call, it would end in my Favorite sentence of all time, "God, You're Such An Asshole."

So why would I allow myself to be subjected to this sadistic, conniving, little man who brought out the evilest parts of my incredibly witty mind? Great question. It's because...

...I was getting fucking fantastic results with EVERYONE. Not just women...

We would set-up online chats with women we had just exchanged ONE email with, or had merely passed her page on plentyoffish, and would have them saying things like...

..."I want you both to fuck me, at the same time"...

And we would do this, in sometimes as little as Ten Minutes.

After meeting him, I would walk into service centers, post-offices, malls... even Teacher's Offices and DEMAND exactly what I needed. I would make bold statements, put my point bluntly, make erratic "over the top" demands that really were just one step short of asking for the moon...

And I got them, every time.

My fucking GPA went up a whole half of a point... and it was Already at a comfortable 3.3.

I had my first bathroom pull, two hour close, one hour close, thirty minute close... Ten Minute Close... and saw them all the next day, the day after, the day after, etc.

And it all came down to the simple fact that, no matter how much I hated the crazy Rewok he brought out in me (And, I know for a Fact he hates me for the exact same reason), I learned how to really, truly, sharpen my fangs.

What is the most crucial thing in any inter-personal interaction?

Confidence. Period. There is no escaping this priori truth, and any attempts will leave you Edgar Allen Poe'd in some remote cobble stone alleyway with a smile on your face and a paper-bagged bottle in your hand.

It goes by a suare of pseudonyms. Confidence. Balls. "Pull The Trigger"

This is PU101. But the fact of the matter is, most guys do NOT understand what confidence really has the potential to get you.

Does this sound familiar? Because I am going to bet you one-billion Rewok dollars (Redeemable for tons of stuff from Happy Face PMs to Free Lapdances on Orleans' credit card) that a lot of head nodding is going to happen very soon.

Imagine yourself in a bar, and you see an extremely attractive woman staring right at you. Not looking, not attempting to make eye-contact, just fucking Staring two quarter-sized holes into your head that would make Ghandi blush.

Pure Intention. What is the confident thing to do?

Now, I am going to show my hand right now and guess that a vast majority of you said the confident thing would be to go up to her, smoothly with a James Bond swagger and introduce yourself... start up a conversation... buy her a drink... whatever.

This is exactly where your father failed you, but I will take full responsibility as well. I obviously have not bashed your full potential into your skull, numbnuts.

(It's cool, I say this as King Of The Ex-Numbnuts)

Of course that approach was smooth, and in all likelihood a hell of a lot more successful than the one I am about to describe to you... but did it realize the full potential of her unabashed desire for you? No. It did not. And therefore it was not the Most confident thing you could have done.

I am telling you, directly and specifically, that the next time a woman makes full, unwavering eye-contact from across the bar, you walk straight up to her (With your James Bond swagger on high) plant into a position just a bit in her personal space so she can FEEL the same desire she showed you reflected back onto her, give her a small, knowing smile...

...Wrap your arm around her waist, lean her into you, and go for it.

Will it work all the time? Not a chance in hell, but will it ever... Ever... leave you wondering what "Could Have Been" or "Should Have Been" in your Post-Game Analysis with the roomies over a few cold ones before you nod off? No. Fucking. Way.

Be bold. Take risks. Fuck up.

But most importantly, learn from Experience. Earn your keep fellas... when you go out on a limb that most men will never attempt to tread, the MINIMUM reward is that people will look at you different.

You become "The Guy Who Takes Risks"... "The Guy Who Leads"... "The Guy Who Deserves"...

...And the sexiest guy she has met in the past three hours.

Because when it comes down to it... If you are one of the handful of people actually making decisions, there is nothing in the world that is impossible.

You have the potential to get Exactly and ONLY what you ask for... what you Desire... what you Demand. So aim high. Sharpen your fangs. Noone ever achieved greatness with a shy smirk asking his woman, "Well... I was just curious... Where exactly do we stand?"

You are welcome.

Daddy loves you,

-Rewok