 Response to DMuffin's Question | |
Sure I can give a rundown, man.
Let me start by saying that speaking your mind is not an art or performance.
It is - however - facing a fear. If speaking your mind wasn't a fear then you could approach anyone on this planet (cause you want to approach them, right?). If there wasn't fear, you could do attempt to do anything you want to do, correct? Yes.
And when you think about it, speaking your mind is actually REALLY easy. You already know what you want to say, you already know what you would like to communicate, the only thing you need to learn is how to say it. So that's easy, right? Learn a bit of tonality and how to express yourself to facial gestures (Take a Public Speaking class if you have to!). This is the easy part, really, but is that enough? No, it's not.
I read many "gurus" saying "It's now what you say, but how you say it" and followed it blindly, getting not the things I wanted. Eventually I opened my eyes to my own truth (stop reading anything from these 'gurus') and realized that what I was lacking wasn't the skill, it was the psychology behind my actions, the emotions, I realize I wasn't reducing the FEAR. Not necesarily the fear of approaching, but the fear of doing what I REALLY wanted - and what I really wanted was to say whatever crossed my mind first, not some cheesy lines.
So, in reality - I came to the realization - that it was my psychology and not the skills. Anyone can develop a skill, yet very few succeed. Why? The psychology is different in those who succeed. They face their fears (their real fears) rather than avoiding them. So feel your fear and face it, feel the passion of doing so.
Once you're AWARE that it's how you think and not the skill, then you can change your thinking. Albert Einstein said once "The problems that we face can not be solved with the same level of thinking at which we created them". So change your thinking, focus on what you want, not on to not-get-what-you-don't-want and take action.
So all of that was really to tell you that there is no "secret" or art about speaking your mind. There is you, your fears, and whether you face them or not. I chose to face them, will you? |