question about windows of opportunity and building anticipation

[bossyboots]

Hey,

I'm a little unclear on how to distinguish capitalizing on windows of opportunity from jumping at a chance to get physical with a woman.

For example...I'll sometimes hold back when I know I can advance - kiss, touch, whatever because I want to build anticipation.

When we get back to my place, I'll often sit on the other side of the couch or bed even though I could cuddle right in with her.

I'll also advance at unexpected times (ie. when she's in mid-sentence) which often has a dramatic, thrilling effect.

Perhaps I don't really know what is meant by 'windows of opportunity'...

Thanks!

Z

[FreeVerse]

Windows of opportunity are openings that give you a green light to take things to another level. For instance when a woman looks at you that's a window of oppurtunity to ask her name and talk to her... but if you don't you might not get her eye contact again... that's why it's important to capitilize on windows of oppurtunity.

Anticipation. How can I explain this? It's kind of like intrigue. She's wondering what's going to happen next. You can still capitilize on windows of oppurtunity while still creating anticipation. For instance, Diablo had a good LR, he used anticipation to tease a woman, he had a routine of how he would touch a woman. Everytime he repeated the routine, he would add another step to it that went closer to her vulva till it ended up there.

What I'm saying is there is no real conflict with anticipation and widows of oppurtunity.

Anticipation - create sexual tension and teases

while

windows of oppurtunity - moves the communication further.

[bossyboots]

Thanks FreeVerse,

thanks for the response, but I'm still unclear about this point. I had difficulty articulating my question very specifically in the last post so I'll rephrase here.

Vin says that capitalizing on windows of opportunity is attractive and that not capitalizing on windows of opportunity is unattractive.

I've experienced this for sure - sometimes you have an opening, you don't take it and it never comes up again.

However, I've also had times where I've built attraction by NOT jumping on windows of opportunity.

Now, before I found Vin's stuff, I studied mainly David DeAngelo and he has some 'techniques' where you playfully push a woman away while accusing her of trying to get you into bed.

For example, when she touches your arm and you look down at her hand as if to say "why are you touching me? we just met"
When this is done in a playful teasing way that demonstrates that you don't reeeally mean it, it can be very effective.

I've done this maaany times and I could see the change in the girl of "this guy's different...most guys are trying to touch me every chance they get and this guy's doing the opposite"

Although I found this to be effective for sparking attraction, I found a few problems with it:
1. it was sometimes an awkward transition to start escalating...the frame has to shift because I can't simultaneously push her away and move things forward.
2. If my state was a little nervous, I'd just make her uncomfortable and come off looking like a weirdo prick.
3. She can sometimes switch into "two can play at that game" and refuse to comply with escalation
4. She can sense that you’re “gaming”

Even with all these possible problems, it’s worked with some EXTREMELY attractive women...

All in all, I'm finding it feels more congruent to capitalize on windows of opportunity but it means I have to distinguish myself and build sexual tension and intrigue in other ways.

So there it is...perhaps not as clearly asked as I'd like but I hope someone can shed some light on this...

Thanks again,

Z

[FreeVerse]

Originally Posted by bossyboots

Thanks FreeVerse,
Vin says that capitalizing on windows of opportunity is attractive and that not capitalizing on windows of opportunity is unattractive.

Not capitalizing on windows of opportunity is unattractive BECAUSE it shows one or two of these things.

1) you might not be interested in her so she stops being interested in you.

2) You don't know what to do or you don't know how to escalate it forward.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

I've experienced this for sure - sometimes you have an opening, you don't take it and it never comes up again.
However, I've also had times where I've built attraction by NOT jumping on windows of opportunity.

Yes it is possible that it can turn into attraction if she already likes you and she wants you to like her and if it's done in a way where you're qualifying her. But in my opinion that works in situations where you'll see the woman again. If you see a woman and you don't approach and it's unlikely that you wont see her again... then, it's a bad choice to not open her.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

Now, before I found Vin's stuff, I studied mainly David DeAngelo and he has some 'techniques' where you playfully push a woman away while accusing her of trying to get you into bed.

For example, when she touches your arm and you look down at her hand as if to say "why are you touching me? we just met"
When this is done in a playful teasing way that demonstrates that you don't reeeally mean it, it can be very effective.

David DeAngelo and Vin are two different guys with two different ways of doing things.

That example there is what David DeAngelo does to show that he's the selector. I really don't think it's necessary to be honest. David DeAngelo likes to do things like that. I don't.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

I've done this maaany times and I could see the change in the girl of "this guy's different...most guys are trying to touch me every chance they get and this guy's doing the opposite"

Yeah true, most guys touch her... but the most guys have a bad vibe to them.

Most guys compliment women. but their compliments are agenda based. A few guys compliment women without a need to get something from her. A few guys touch a woman with the understanding that if done in the right way, it'll create escalation to sex.

It's how you do it.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

Although I found this to be effective for sparking attraction, I found a few problems with it:
1. it was sometimes an awkward transition to start escalating...the frame has to shift because I can't simultaneously push her away and move things forward.
2. If my state was a little nervous, I'd just make her uncomfortable and come off looking like a weirdo prick.
3. She can sometimes switch into "two can play at that game" and refuse to comply with escalation
4. She can sense that you’re “gaming”

1. If you touch her in a way that didn't flow with your communication with her it will be awkward. Anything you do that doesn't flow with the communication will be awkward.

2. Look at nervous person trying to do something and you'll get nervous too.

3. Touching her and accusing her of touching you is already known to most women. An average woman did that to me so I"m sure most women know that too.

4. It's to obvious to a woman with game.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

Even with all these possible problems, it’s worked with some EXTREMELY attractive women...

Some women like it, some women don't like it. Some women like bald guys, some women don't, some women like this while some don't like that. Also they might be gullible.

I think it works with them because other guys are easy... while you're acting like you don't like her will say "challenge" in her. I don't try to be a challenge. I like to get to know people, and when people put an effort in the communication I reward them and they like it and it moves it forward. I qualify them, I give approval and they enjoy my company because they feel comfortable around me. I give my gift which is sex, bonding, approval, etc. When I see a window of opportunity I capitalize on it and approach and move things forward in a way that's intriguing and comfortable because of my Warm Dominance.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

All in all, I'm finding it feels more congruent to capitalize on windows of opportunity but it means I have to distinguish myself and build sexual tension and intrigue in other ways.

Did you just answer a question you had for yourself there? Building Sexual Tension and creating intrigue is fun.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

So there it is...perhaps not as clearly asked as I'd like but I hope someone can shed some light on this...

Thanks again,

Z

You're welcome. I understood where you're coming from. My best advice is since your use to David D's stuff, Vin's stuff might be unfamiliar at first... but stay with it and you'll get how it fits together.

[bossyboots]

FreeVerse,

Thanks...awesome. This is really helpful.

Cheers,

Z

[FreeVerse]

Glad I could help.

Cheers.

[El Cuchillo]

"I don't try to be a challenge. I like to get to know people, and when people put an effort in the communication I reward them and they like it and it moves it forward. I qualify them, I give approval and they enjoy my company because they feel comfortable around me. I give my gift which is sex, bonding, approval, etc. When I see a window of opportunity I capitalize on it and approach and move things forward in a way that's intriguing and comfortable because of my Warm Dominance."


I understand this conceptually but haven't quite mastered how to start bringing this technique into fruition. Could you give examples of how you would do this when you first meet a women through the first couple of dates?

how do you reward them? a high five, a simple thank you, kino?

how to you qualify & give approval - oh you're a writer, I think that's cool that you can express yourself that way. I like that (is that close?)

If you could give some examples of the wordings that would be awesome...

thanks
cuchillo

[FreeVerse]

Originally Posted by El Cuchillo

"I don't try to be a challenge. I like to get to know people, and when people put an effort in the communication I reward them and they like it and it moves it forward. I qualify them, I give approval and they enjoy my company because they feel comfortable around me. I give my gift which is sex, bonding, approval, etc. When I see a window of opportunity I capitalize on it and approach and move things forward in a way that's intriguing and comfortable because of my Warm Dominance."


I understand this conceptually but haven't quite mastered how to start bringing this technique into fruition. Could you give examples of how you would do this when you first meet a women through the first couple of dates?

how do you reward them? a high five, a simple thank you, kino?

how to you qualify & give approval - oh you're a writer, I think that's cool that you can express yourself that way. I like that (is that close?)

If you could give some examples of the wordings that would be awesome...

thanks
cuchillo

Me: What do you like to do?
Her: Nothing much just hang out.

(that's a superficial way of answering)

Me: No, forreal tho.
Her: Well, I like draw animals, I'm just so interested in them. (she puts effort so I'm threading the convo so I can reward her.)
Me: Do you have any pets?
Her: Yeah a cock a tail bird that I always feed and talk to.
Me: That's interesting and I like that. You must have good nuturing skills. (reward)

ok it doesn't look fancy and there are not big super cool lines but underneath it all, you're really bringing a person up and making them feel like they proven their value.

its like Brian said it in the Inner Game forum. Women are always requesting. They look you're way, the wear nice outfits, they're attractive, etc. Those are forms of requesting for you're gifts. Sex, bonding, intimacy, attention, etc.