Using kino just as a reward?

[meanpeoplesuck]

Hi guys, I am curious which of the following is how I should be looking at the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder:

1) Use kino to reward her. Move further up the escalation ladder as she puts in more effort. For example, she tells a joke, so you laugh and take a step up the ladder.

or

2) Move up the escalation ladder whenever it makes sense circumstancially. Simply keep on moving up the ladder bit by bit, and as long as she accepts it by not running away or whatever, then it's all good. So for example you could move up a step even if she hasn't put any effort in at that particular moment, but you see an opportunity to take another step up the ladder. As long as she doesn't resist, then it's a green light to keep going up the ladder.

These are two different ways of viewing kino, and I hope I have explained them adequately. Which is the best option (1 or 2) to apply to the DiCarlo escalation ladder?

Thank you

[Orleans]

A combination of the both is the answer you're looking for.

You can use kino to reward her, backturns to punish her and at the same time you also use straight Incidental to build enough comfort to go for the Overt. Keep in mind if you're rewarding her for good behaviour she's going to be more comfortable accepting the kino but at the same time you can build up to it using Incidental.

It's not 2 paths but really just a mix of them.

[Brian]

Yup - both.

And if when you're having fun, just for the hell of it.

Touching as a reward is great because it is probably the best thing you can do to a woman (short of sex).

[FreeVerse]

Kino is more than a reward, its a sign of comfort and affection and maybe more.

[meanpeoplesuck]

Guys those responses really helped bring some clarity to the matter for me - thanks.

I ask because I'm interested in using the DEL as a "stand alone method" with "basic conversation skills". I've lost all interest in following a specific verbal method and just wanna let go and have fun while just keeping in mind the DEL to help me with escalation.

This is where the issue of when to kino arose for me, because moving up the ladder while using just basic convo skills is a little more vague about when you should escalate your kino.

[relentless]

Hey meanpeoplesuck. I'm trying to do the same thing coming from trying different verbal techniques. I still have to put up intro but just wanted to thank you for asking the question; i had it for a while. Just came from a long trip though where I was trying to use it with people I couldnt speak the language with. No signifcant gains but looking back it was interesting to see how long they would stay trying to talk to us while we were kinoing them and no one was understanding anything.

[meanpeoplesuck]

no problemo relentless!

I'm curious about how you got on dealing with the language barrier. I'm gonna be travelling around Europe soon, and won't be able to speak the language in any of the countries I end up in. How did you decide when to move up the ladder when you couldn't rely on verbal communication to give you some idea about timing?

[relentless]

I never got too far up the ladder. Maybe stomach area at most. From my experience it seems that the verbal communication acts as a cover for the kino. It's like a context for it to happen. After a while we would all kind of laugh because we knew we couldn't understand a word of the other person. Then that's when it kind of fizzed out. Hope that helps.