FR: first time use of the DEL.

[authenticallyme]

you guys dont get it.

im saying, that even if you could trick me with your ways, to bed me......what does it matter, when seeing you as i see you here, i dont like what i see? if you dont care, that seems shallow, yet flow keeps insisting that isnt the case.

flow.......why do you think i hate men? im not trying to insult YOU or ANYONE, but i am insulting the tactics, mindsets, and principles here. big difference.

im not going to tell you what my problem is. i know the game, and i wont be baited. sure, i have problems, but like the poster below you....you could quickly see the parallels im trying to make, instead of saying they have nothing to do with anything. THAT is JUST as insulting. nothing to do with the people who posted or the topics involved? denial, i say. you choose not to put two and two together, to avoid the ensuing conversation. which, is ok.

why you say my mental health is affected, simply because i challenge anyone, is absurd. again, is there but one parallel in your mind? woman comes here + says her mind = mental health issues? is that always the case? never any 'grey areas', always the black and white? i said what i did to hopefully challenge someone, into examining themselves, and asking themselves why they think the way they do. if it doesnt permeate anyone, so be it, but i still challenge. whether someone changes the way they think due to it, is not my goal. my goal is to confront, whether some good comes out of it or not. either way, i did what i knew was right to do for me. im not here to control anyone, but to get them to think, and consider.

i dont need help, and i dont offer a story. that wasnt my purpose in posting here.

your questions to me, and comments, only reitterate what i posted. and so the wheel spins.......

[flow]

Originally Posted by authenticallyme

you guys dont get it.

No, its you who don't get it.

Originally Posted by authenticallyme

im saying, that even if you could trick me with your ways, to bed me......what does it matter, when seeing you as i see you here, i dont like what i see? if you dont care, that seems shallow, yet flow keeps insisting that isnt the case.

You are the shallow person here. You see a lot of guys who wants to learn tricks to get women to have sex with them, without the women wanting to. I see a lot of guys in here who genuinely wants to grow as human beings and learn to be sexual with women who wants to be sexual with them.

Originally Posted by authenticallyme

flow.......why do you think i hate men? im not trying to insult YOU or ANYONE, but i am insulting the tactics, mindsets, and principles here. big difference.

Its simple, you come into a forum where men discuss what it is to be a man in all its aspects and you start to act totally aggressive. And you obviously do this on the basis of your own preconceptions of the tactics, mindsets and principles here. To do that is not different at all from actually trying to insult ME or ANYONE else in this forum.

The only reason I can think of for doing this is that you hate men, maybe you don't know it yourself.

Originally Posted by authenticallyme

im not going to tell you what my problem is. i know the game, and i wont be baited. sure, i have problems, but like the poster below you....you could quickly see the parallels im trying to make, instead of saying they have nothing to do with anything. THAT is JUST as insulting. nothing to do with the people who posted or the topics involved? denial, i say. you choose not to put two and two together, to avoid the ensuing conversation. which, is ok.

I'm not running game on you. The fact that you do think that or is trying to flirt with me makes it really hard to take you seriously at all. There really is no ensuing conversation because you are only aggressive and seek conflict.

Besides elmariachi is only polite, not agreeing with your opinions.

Originally Posted by authenticallyme

why you say my mental health is affected, simply because i challenge anyone, is absurd. again, is there but one parallel in your mind? woman comes here + says her mind = mental health issues? is that always the case? never any 'grey areas', always the black and white? i said what i did to hopefully challenge someone, into examining themselves, and asking themselves why they think the way they do. if it doesnt permeate anyone, so be it, but i still challenge. whether someone changes the way they think due to it, is not my goal. my goal is to confront, whether some good comes out of it or not. either way, i did what i knew was right to do for me. im not here to control anyone, but to get them to think, and consider.

The women I've seen post here before has not been agressive, has not issued challanges but has understood that this is a forum for SHARED LEARNING and has shared their experiences and learnt something and help others learn something. You on the other hand has come here and instantly started to be aggressive, hateful and trying to start a fight for the sake of fighting. Which is obvious from the quote above, where you state that your goal is NOT to make people reading your posts to change but to ONLY confront.

Seeking confrontation at any cost with total disregard for consequences is not mentally healthy.

[quote=authenticallyme;5292]i dont need help, and i dont offer a story. that wasnt my purpose in posting here.[/QOUTE]

That was obvious, but since those are the things supposed to happen here then I would suggest that you do ask for help or tell us your story. Otherwise you better post somewhere else.

/Flow

[authenticallyme]

fair enough. we dont agree, that is fine. you are accusing as much as i am, but want to point out that im the troublemaker.....im the problem, im the one who doesnt see straight. yet you insult me back, but feel *you* are justified, for some reason. we dont agree; i can accept hat.no point in articulating each thing you said that i dont agree with, and why. i said THAT is shallow, or BEHAVIOR is shallow. behavior is separate from the core of a person. i can love my kids, and hate their behavior. yet you dont say my behavior is shallow-you point bland say *I* am shallow. i DO see a huge difference there.

you state all your opinions as if they are factual, yet the fact that *I* did that, really irks you. you are acting in the same exact way you cant stand me for acting. at least *i'm* aware that it is occuring. i do actually feel bad if i insulted someone here; that was not my intention; i mentioned it somehwere here yesterday in a follow up (and alos added that i got riled up the more posts i read.......and therefore my demeanor was affected and REflected in my posts as the night went on.........stated this elsewhere). it is the principles that are taught and uplifted here that upset and sadden me, not the people. i can separate the two. if we only equal our behavior, certainly no one would find us loveable. thus, i chose to separate behavior from the core person. maybe you dont, so you brand me as shallow. thats ok.

i dont seek confrotnation at any cost.....what i meant is that whether anyone takes heed or listens to me to the point of desiring change-(or thinking i might actually have a shred of insight or wisdom to share)-isnt my goal,; i dont seek to control anyone. or their mind. i speak, if no one hears-then its ok. that doesnt translate into "confrontation at any cost"......it means i realize full well i dont have a right to make up someones mind for them, only speak and maybe influence. that is all. some of the conclusions you post about me-i dont see where you are tying them together. i cant explain away all of them, but i chose this one, this time, because i cant use hours on one post. ty for listening.

[flow]

authenticallyme: OK. I'll take your last post in this thread as a sincere apology. I do that because you offered some information about yourself.

Now we know that you are a woman, you have kids and you sit up all night reading and writing in forums.

I'm a 43 year old guy, married with no kids. I'm here because I like to help people who wants to grow, and also to learn more about leadership and male-female interactions.

Your turn. How come you found this forum in the first place? What where you looking for? Single? Married?

/Flow

[authenticallyme]

***Now we know that you are a woman, you have kids and you sit up all night reading and writing in forums.***

you know what? after that insult, from one who has tried to guilt and shame *ME* for insulting EVERYONE here, i dont even want to answer anymore. i tried to 'lighten' up.....and did see and admit where i was out of line.....and this is what i come back to. i think i would have rathered more flat out attacks, than 'i accept your sincere apology'......with a follow-up like what you typed above.

ok? you win.

[rarebreed]

you guys dont get it.

Exactly. 90% of men don't "get it". Why do you think we have this forum?

Most of men have been brainwashed by society, culture and even those who are close to them to not see the "Elusive Obvious". They just don't "get it", but they want to, though, and are just confused.

im saying, that even if you could trick me with your ways, to bed me......what does it matter, when seeing you as i see you here, i dont like what i see? if you dont care, that seems shallow, yet flow keeps insisting that isnt the case.

I personally feel like you don't "get it". What you see as "tricks", we see as crutches.

Have you ever met someone who was out of shape? Imagine, for a minute, that you are out of shape and obese, although I'm sure you're not. After five years being depressed and feeling bad about yourself you muster the courage to get help and hire a personal trainer. You know you can get help from the PT, but at a certain point his/her services are not needed because you finally reach a point where you have the capacity, confidence and competence to do it on your own. The personal trainer is not needed anymore because he/she was just a crutch to get things moving along. Unless you're rich you won't need his services anymore.

The same thing applies here. We all give each other crutches, or "tricks", as you like to refer to them, so we can get each other to walk again on our own.

The reason why you place such a negative connotation to the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder, or "tricks", as you refer to them, is because we are talking about it in a very disassociated way. The things we talk about are very disassociated and microscopic because most men don't "get it".

flow.......why do you think i hate men? im not trying to insult YOU or ANYONE, but i am insulting the tactics, mindsets, and principles here. big difference.

Everyone has different mindsets, "tactics", principles and values. Yes, there are men here who would like to learn to have more sex or at the very least get sex. There are also others who are looking for something more than sex. Everyone has different outcomes in this forum.

I understand that you want the guys in this forum to be more "aware" of a woman's feelings and to see things from her perspective. I also understand that you want us to empathize on what it's like to be a woman. That's why you are posting. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I personally love sex and I know woman like sex too, but if I meet a woman who wants to take things slow, I will respect that. No rush. On the other side of the spectrum, if a man doesn't move things along and lead, then the woman will find a man who will. Most woman who are found attractive by most men don't have time to worry about one guy, when they know they have other options. That's why we, here at this forum, are taking proactive steps to be the man she thinks about, dreams about and, most importantly, ends up with. What's wrong with that?

Of course you're going to find guys who don't want to empathize with woman and their world, just like there are woman who choose not to empathize with men and their needs. There are men and woman who just want sex and will find ways to satisfy their needs just like there are men and woman who want a relationship and will find ways to satisfy their needs, like internet dating websites.

im not going to tell you what my problem is. i know the game, and i wont be baited. sure, i have problems, but like the poster below you....you could quickly see the parallels im trying to make, instead of saying they have nothing to do with anything. THAT is just as insulting. nothing to do with the people who posted or the topics involved? denail, is say. you choose not to put two and two together, to avoid the ensuing conversation. which, is ok.

Please elaborate. I missed something and I really don't feel like going back to read what has been said.

I know. I know. I'm lazy. I'm such a man.

why yous ay my mental health is affected,simply becasue i challenge anyone, is absurd. again, is there but one parralel in your mind? woman comes here + says her mind = mental health issues? is that always the case? never any 'grey areas', always the black and white? i said what i did to hopefully challenge someone, into examining themselves, and asking themselves why they think the way they do. if it doesnt permeate anyone, so be it, but i still challenge. whether someone changes the way they think due to it, is not my goal. my goal is to confront, whether some good scoems out of it or not. either way, i did what i knew was right to do for me. im not here to control anyone, but to get them to think, and consider.

i dont need help, and i dont offer a story. that wasnt my purpose in posting here.

your questions to me, and comments, only reitterate what i posted. and so the wheel spins.......

Obviously, there is no understanding between you and the person you are trying to communicate with. Why can't we all just get along?

I want to close with one last thing. I was on the treadmill some odd weeks ago and was watching the Tyra Banks show. I know. So gay, but there is a purpose to this. The show was about how some woman put themselves in certain positions that endager their lives. She recorded woman who were being hit on by men she hired to see if they could get them to their car. There were two woman who these hired men picked up and took to the car and there were two other woman who chose not to go with the man to his car. The two woman who went to the hired man's car were brutally questioned about their behaviors, by Tyra, and were then indirectly put on a guilt trip by Tyra and her audience because Tyra's hired man had hidden weapons in his vehicle, but the weapos were there to make a statement. The other two woman who chose not to go to the hired man's car were praised and applauded by Tyra and the audience. The purpose of her show was to send a message to as many woman out there that looks can be deceiving. Okay.

A week or two later she has another show on "How to keep the fire in a relastionship". They were talking about how to spice things up outside of the bedroom and inside the bedroom. She made a statement I won't forget. She says, "If I'm in a relationship I want to make sure that our sex life is spicy, but I just don't like it when a man begins to act like I'm his mom. I'll start looking at him differently and the relationship won't last too long.".

A few days after that I was watching the christian channel, Daystar, and I couldn't believe what I had seen. There is a woman who is a preacher, and a very good one at that, who had a big convention. She's a great speaker and knows a lot about being spiritual and getting in tune with our inner man or woman. Well, guess who was there...................Tyra Banks.

I'm not going to make any biased comments, but I was dumbfounded and confused.

I also want to state that there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve one's self.

[authenticallyme]

***Have you ever met someone who was out of shape? Imagine, for a minute, that you are out of shape and obese, although I'm sure you're not.***

okay, that part made me laugh out loud.

***
I want to close with one last thing. I was on the treadmill some odd weeks ago and was watching the Tyra Banks show. I know. So gay, but there is a purpose to this.

Cmon, you know Tyra is like, assistant to God. lmao.

oh, and i missed the whole 'point'. my girly emotional/connection brainwaves hit an all time low as its past my 'posting marathon' for today. (i know...i know..dont fall over, flow.)

i hear you a bit, oh-so-rare-one.

[rarebreed]

***Have you ever met someone who was out of shape? Imagine, for a minute, that you are out of shape and obese, although I'm sure you're not.***

okay, that part made me laugh out loud.

***

Uh oh. I guess this means you're attracted to me. This better stop now. I hear internet relationships are a dead end, especially if you meet a guy who's on a forum learning to Pick Up woman. We'd probably end up cheating on each other anyways considering the lack of passion and rapport between us.

I want to close with one last thing. I was on the treadmill some odd weeks ago and was watching the Tyra Banks show. I know. So gay, but there is a purpose to this.

Cmon, you know Tyra is like, assistant to God. lmao.

oh, and i missed the whole 'point'. my girly emotional/connection brainwaves hit an all time low as its past my 'posting marathon' for today. (i know...i know..dont fall over, flow.)

i hear you a bit, oh-so-rare-one.

I can't tell if you're being sarcastic, but it sure is arousing my curiousity about you.

No, I'm not trying to seduce you. Well, maybe a little.

[authenticallyme]

no, i was only being sarcastic to FLOW....go figure.

i found those portions of your post amusing, and you retort with various unrelated comments of attraction, curiosity, and online relationships. rareone, DiCrassified is molding you into one of those *sigh* Rico Suave types.......

now if you LOOK like him, im sooooo in.

[flow]

Originally Posted by authenticallyme

***Now we know that you are a woman, you have kids and you sit up all night reading and writing in forums.***

you know what? after that insult, from one who has tried to guilt and shame *ME* for insulting EVERYONE here, i dont even want to answer anymore. i tried to 'lighten' up.....and did see and admit where i was out of line.....and this is what i come back to. i think i would have rathered more flat out attacks, than 'i accept your sincere apology'......with a follow-up like what you typed above.

ok? you win.

I actually had noticed that you really tried, and wanted to show that I didn't want to keep fighting. I didn't want to win. I was actually going to answer you in a similar way as Brian did in another thread. But since I had just seen Brians post I decided to create a totally different kind of opening for you than he did.

I was a bit tired though and wanted to go sleep so I ended up smashing the door on your fingers instead. Sorry, I really didn't want to do that.

Glad Rarebreed stepped in an connected with you the way I should have.

/Flow

[rarebreed]

no, i was only being sarcastic to FLOW....go figure.

Okay. I know woman are better than men when making sarcastic comments. If you were being sarcastic to FLOW, don't let me stop you. It's amusing to me.

Sorry, Flow. I'm feeling a vibe here.

i found those portions of your post amusing, and you retort with various unrelated comments of attraction, curiosity, and online relationships. rareone, DiCrassified is molding you into one of those *sigh* Rico Suave types.......

now if you LOOK like him, im sooooo in.

The word amusing in the context you are using sounds like I'm a monkey in the zoo. I'll just reframe it in a more positive light, like a compliment, 'cause I know you want me.

You're one funny chick. Not only are you funny, but you have a strong identity. Atleast you aren't spineless.

Dicrassified...Someone's being a bad girl. I'm gonna call your mom or dad and tell them to spank you.

I look nothing like Rico Suave. You're so vein if you only want me for my looks. I have feelings too. I also have fillings from the dentist.

[flow]

Originally Posted by rarebreed

Sorry, Flow. I'm feeling a vibe here.

No, no, don't be sorry, I'm practically throwing her into your arms

I got to many women in may life anyway, seems I can't handle one more. I think Authenticallyme must have created some kind of overload problem for me when she started to post here.

So I'm just glad you can handle her for me, she is precious to me though, so treat her well

And tool me as much as you need to

Love

/Flow

[dman]

re: I vs i
I'm all for laziness! But I just disagree on the point at which to draw the line... for me I do not draw that line at a lower level than where I stand, so this means I get a capital!

authenticallyme, remember that what you read here is not exactly how every one of us will come across in real life. This forum is merely a place for us to come together to focus on a little area of our life to improve. In reality there is a lot more than that to every one of us. But if I was to write as much about my family, work, training, Ironman racing, books I've been reading, various projects, clothes, etc etc etc... the main point of this forum would be lost in all the clutter. If we come across one dimensional, that is the result of the intentional purpose of this forum (focusing on male/female & social interactions).

Just like it would be very very easy for everybody on a car racing forum to come across as one dimensional guys who are obsessed with cars.

[authenticallyme]

Originally Posted by rarebreed

Okay. I know woman are better than men when making sarcastic comments. If you were being sarcastic to FLOW, don't let me stop you. It's amusing to me.

Sorry, Flow. I'm feeling a vibe here.



The word amusing in the context you are using sounds like I'm a monkey in the zoo. I'll just reframe it in a more positive light, like a compliment, 'cause I know you want me.

You're one funny chick. Not only are you funny, but you have a strong identity. Atleast you aren't spineless.

Dicrassified...Someone's being a bad girl. I'm gonna call your mom or dad and tell them to spank you.

I look nothing like Rico Suave. You're so vein if you only want me for my looks. I have feelings too. I also have fillings from the dentist.

LMAO!

seriously, i meant SERIOUSLY that you amused me. there was no sarcasm intended there, was just wrapping up my comment with some humor, or at least attempting to.

Rico Suave....whatever happened to that guy? by now he is homo, just like the rest of the 80's boytoys.

i hope you guys let gay men post here too, on how to get some good piece of manbutt. if the Decrassifieds practice bigotry, i will be soooo very disappointed. hoarding all the good advice amongst heterosexuals would be VERY greedy.

[authenticallyme]

Originally Posted by dman

re: I vs i
I'm all for laziness! But I just disagree on the point at which to draw the line... for me I do not draw that line at a lower level than where I stand, so this means I get a capital!

authenticallyme, remember that what you read here is not exactly how every one of us will come across in real life. This forum is merely a place for us to come together to focus on a little area of our life to improve. In reality there is a lot more than that to every one of us. But if I was to write as much about my family, work, training, Ironman racing, books I've been reading, various projects, clothes, etc etc etc... the main point of this forum would be lost in all the clutter. If we come across one dimensional, that is the result of the intentional purpose of this forum (focusing on male/female & social interactions).

Just like it would be very very easy for everybody on a car racing forum to come across as one dimensional guys who are obsessed with cars.

on the *I* piece........thats fine, but i dont think there is a right or wrong. i still type my little i out of strength, not weakness. it is about intention and motivation, not what the final outcome is. my self esttem is not reflectedf by how i type, but i do accept that you see it differently, and i can acceptt hat *I* is better and right for you. so thats good.

i agree about the forums 'overall and encompassing' purpose.......but it seems like no one here will step out and validate some of the things im reading. while i can now appreicate there is a process and depth here that although i may not understand, still exists-i ALSO read things (like on the homepage for Vic) about a testimonial where a dude got his chick to do a threesome. im sure he has all kinds of 'she-really-wanted-to's" to back it up, but sorry, i see some of the tactics here used to manipulate. not every post; not by everyone....but i do see it, and it is hurtful to me as a woman, and it also saddens me.......for other women, and even the men who use these tactics.

my opinion only.

ok, time to go to dictionary.com and get my word of the day. my goal this new year is to grow my verbiage.

ciao!