FR: "Pancakes? Pineapples? You're fucking sexy!" - 3.12.08

[Ian Smith]

Today started off nice, I had an early morning booty call, so to say the least, I was fairly content with my day. I had class at 10:10 so I had to catch the bus, she dropped me off at the bus stop. Before she had come over this morning I got my workout out of the way, and cut myself a whole fresh pineapple. Same as any day, as I rode the bus I munched on some of the pineapple but felt really hungry.

So when I got into the city, I was about 5 minutes late for class, I decided to stop at the local diner and grab a short stack of pancakes and a coffee to go. I got to class about 15 minutes late, grabbed a seat in the back and as I began to sit down, this girl asks to squeeze by me to sit down next to me. I let her sit down, then whip out my stack of pancakes. As I begin to pour on the syrup she starts cracking up. I look over and give her funny look and say:

ME: Shut up, you know you want some.
Her: Actually, I do, give me a bite.
ME: Yeaaaaaah RIGHT!

**Teacher tells us to be quiet**

(We whisper)
Her: What the fuck do you have pancakes in lecture for?
ME: Because I wanted to impress you, what the hell do you think? I'm hungry!
Her: Obviously! But pancakes? Isn't that a bit extreme.
ME: I'm awesome, what can I say?
Her: Whatttever! I'm texting my friend right now and she thinks you are a dork.
ME: Cause that matters to me...?
Her: Whatever, strange boy. This class sucks, I'm so bored already.
ME: I haven't even finished my first pancake and you're bored? I feel bad for your boyfriend, he must have his hands full.
Her: Ew! First of all I don't have one.
ME: And second of all?
Her: There was no second of all, shut up you know what I mean.

*Punches me*

ME: Not nice. That was strike one, two more and I turn into a wife-beater.
Her: Oh, real classy.

I go back to eating my pancakes while she texts on her phone, it seems like shes holding several conversations at once. I am just about finished and she looks at me with a sad face.

ME: What?
Her: You're not gonna give me a bite?

I slide my to-go box over to her and she still looks at me, as if she's expecting me to feed her.

ME: Any reason for the delay?
Her: I don't wanna get syrup on my hands!

I stare blankly at her, blinking, mouth wide open, eyebrows cocked upwards.

Her: Fine! I have to do everything myself!

She stabs the entire remaining half of my last pancake, folds it over and stuffs it into her mouth.

ME: (sarcastically) That was the most attractive thing I've seen in weeks, I want you so bad right now.
Her: (mouth still full) Shut up!

**Teacher asks us once again to be quiet, I announce to the class and the teacher she ate my pancakes, the class laughs and the teacher scowls at me**

Her: Ass!
ME: Whatever. I'm still hungry.

I reach under the chair to pull out my coffee and the fresh cut pineapple. And again she starts cracking up.

Her: WTF? Pineapple too? You're fucking strange!
ME: Why? Cause I don't pay for shitty cafeteria food and bring my own?
Her: No, but...Pancakes and Pineapples? I mean seriously, who does that?
ME: Awesome motherfuckers like myself. Don't jack my style either, if I see you in here on Friday with pancakes, you better at least have a short-stack for me.
Her: Riiiiiiight, now give me some pineapple.

She goes back to texting her friend, and I can tell she's talking about me, I ignore it and continue munching away.

Her: My friend wants to know if you have a refrigerator in your bookbag.
ME: No, this is all for today, but next class I'll be sauteeing some Fillet Mignon, 30 bucks a platter with two side dishes.
Her: Hahahhahahahahaha! I don't doubt it with you.

The class proceeds on and I get increasingly more uninterested in the class, reclining into a position where my feet are over the chairs in front of me and I'm in an almost horizontal position. I am completely comfortable, except for my head, its resting on the hard arm rest. So I go into my bag and bring out my martial arts gloves, stick them under my head and lay down.

Her: What the fuck are those?

**Yanks them out from under me and begins to inspect them**
**My head smacks the armrest rather loudly**
**She cracks up again, apologizes and starts to rub my head**

Her: What are these?

**I hold up my fist and shake it**

Her: You're a fighter?
ME: And a lover.
Her: Seriously? That's awesome. Are you good?
ME: Well, I could whoop your ass.
Her: We'll see about that!
ME: Oh yeah, by the way, theres blood all over those gloves.
Her: OMG COOL! I see it, is it yours or someone elses.
ME: Probably both...wait, you don't want syrup on your hands but you don't mind blood?
Her: (ignores my statement) Awesome! I wanna see you knock somebody out!
ME: How's a first person perspective?
Her: No I don't think so mister!

Class comes to the last 5 minutes. She tells me that her friend thinks that I should ask for her number. I ask why so?

Her: Because you eat pancakes, pineapples, you fight, and you're fucking sexy!
ME: Says who?
Her: Both of us.
ME: She's never even seen me.
Her: Well, she was intrigued when I told her this hot boy was eating pancakes and pineapples in class, so I took a picture of you while you weren't looking and sent it to her, she agrees.
ME: Women....Take my number, my cell is broken I'll have a new one in a few days.
Her: Okay bye!

Bell rings and the class floods for the door. Come to think of it, I don't even know this chicks name. Hooray for pineapples and pancakes!

Lesson learned: You've got to come original with it, and be yourself.

[dman]

that was so much fun to read, can imagine what it would have been like to be there!