FR: Update from Making out while LJBF

[Optimus_Prime]

This is an update to this original post:

http://www.vindicarlo.com/forums/mai...ing-ljbfd.html


Update:

*I am in various stages with a couple of other women, this is an intresting experience with potential for much growth and understanding. Plus in spite of myself I'm still digging her.

We met up for Lunch, it was pleasant. I did what I could to amp up sexual tension.

Things, like:
being in a sexual state myself
innuendo
Dicarlo escalation ladder incidental class 2/3.

She asked a few times "What are you doing this weekend"

After brushing it off a few times, I replied , X event is this weekend, do you want to go?

After a minute of her thinking she replied: Yes

After lunch I receive a message saying She bought tickets for X event.

Sat :
I get a call "Hey mind if 'Mark' and this girl he's dating come along? (I'm driving to the event )

Me: Yeah sure (I'm thinking F###@!)
Her: Is it ok w/ You
Me: Yeah thats fine 'Mark' is a cool dude (I'm thinking F####!)

Me: I tried my best to 'reframe' Not even sure if it was necessary. This was just a reaction to my insides going F###!

Me: Is it ok with you?
Her: Yeah!

We discuss logistics.

I show up and find out 'Mark' and his 'date' aren't coming.

We talk about lite things. (I did not bring up relationships/ljbf/what happened to us)

At the event mostly Dicarlo Escalation Ladder incidental class 2. I laid back really enjoying the event.

I had a few intresting moments were it felt like she was 'testing'. I have no idea for what, just a 'feeling'

On the way back some overt kino Dicarlo Escalation Ladder class 2/3 ..Hand holding, massaged my chest, frontal hugging, small of her back light massage, smelling neck.

There was a window to start the Dicarlo Escalation Ramp..

As we are parked..

her: "What are you doing tonight?"
me: "I'm going to do xyz, what are you doing?"
her: "I'm going to probably zyx, its going to be lonely, I don't know where my roomies are.."

A nice frontal hug/kino to small of back/smelling neck (Tempted to Make out, but I resisted temptation.. :0( )
She exits...

(It would have been easy to go inside and escalate, who knows,
part of me felt, like if I had gone inside, she gets all the cookies, i.e. a nice event + possibly great sex + No commitment= back to where I started from and possibly even further back)

I was torn between Full escalation, vs leaving/ejecting (I did have some things to do that night)

3 hours later she calls.

Her:I know your doing xyz, I had a good time tonight etc.

Me: Likewise..I'm driving to xyz, now.

Any thoughts, opinions, or suggestions would be appreciated.

I will continue to update this thread as things progress with this one.

[ITotem]

You missed 2 windows of escalations:
1. her: I'm going to probably zyx, its going to be lonely, I don't know where my roomies are..
2. Her:I know your doing xyz, I had a good time tonight etc.

1. She wanted you to come in... OR she wanted to go with you (helllloooo... "It's going to be lonely"????)
2. You should have invited her out... OR... you should have given her a little hope that you like her (even though you can't spend more time with her for that night)

[Optimus_Prime]

Originally Posted by ITotem

You missed 2 windows of escalations:
1. her: I'm going to probably zyx, its going to be lonely, I don't know where my roomies are..
2. Her:I know your doing xyz, I had a good time tonight etc.

1. She wanted you to come in... OR she wanted to go with you (helllloooo... "It's going to be lonely"????)
2. You should have invited her out... OR... you should have given her a little hope that you like her (even though you can't spend more time with her for that night)

ITotem,

I thank you for your advice, I would not have even considered the call as an escalation window, considering I told her I was busy the rest of the night. I can see it potentially being one.

I feel being too available, giving too much compliance, being too 'BF like' is what caused her to LJBF me in the first place.

I feel if, I had gone in/taken advantage of either window, I would be too available, potentially being denied as a result of me being too compliant too eager to please her.

I will isolate and fully escalate this week/weekend.

[Optimus_Prime]

First of all thank you Vin for your advice.

The other night, she isolated herself, the night started out at a large social gathering with mostly her friends and orbiters (This was a trip to 'see'). I received a call after the social gathering...etc...etc....etc..

I feel in the past month using the guidelines Vin posted to my initial post.

(http://www.vindicarlo.com/forums/mai...ing-ljbfd.html)

The ideas in Dating Diablo and S3 in specifically the compliance ideas and tech have given me a clarity which did not exist before.

Thanks again.

Optimus_Prime