LR: Oompa Pa FUPA!

the_dicknotist · #1 10-07-2007, 09:10 PM

Last night was a whole lot of fun. So, I thought I'd share with you one of the many highlights.

"Oompa, Loompa, doom-pa-dee-dee. If you are wise, you'll listen to me!"

I roll up into the club with two friends and we're making the usual rounds. After I down a delicious Blue Moon, I start feeling the music and I'm dancing along with the crowd. I catch eyes with HB_FUPA. Yes, FUPA. Oh, you don't know what a FUPA is? My disciples, let me give you a FUPA primer.

FUPA (pronounced Foo-Pah) is an acronym for "Fat Upper Pubic Area," a phenomenon common with women so afflicted by obesity that their pubic area is used to store patches of fatty waste. A FUPA is usually transmitted through compulsive overeating, which makes the individual susceptible to catching Fupatitis P. The only known cure is a radical Fupandectomy where the individual's mouth is wired shut. This condition is very serious. If left untreated, the woman may go on to develop GUPA (Ginormous Upper Pubic Area) or the even more serious CHALUPA (Couldn't Have A Larger Upper Pussy Area).

Now, back to the story. I'm savoring my Blue Moon, swaying to the beat, and engaging this cute blonde from Germany when I lock eyes with HB_FUPA. She clearly communicates with her eyes that she eagerly wants a dance partner...and fuck buddy. I obliged her with the first offer.

We went nuts, spinning each other around and causing everyone else nearby to back up to make space for us. After a while, we spun around in a circle and held hands for dear life so we wouldn't go flying into the wall! Ever since I saw a similar scene with Jack and Rose in the film, Titanic, I wanted to do try it.

Afterwards, I introduce her to my friends and she introduces me to this nice brunette: HB_Polkadots. I start dancing with HB_Polkadots, slow things down, and begin the kino escalation. At first we're doing some mild grinding and I'm running my fingers up and down her arms and rib cage - and I can feel her body responding. I turn her around so we're face to face and I continue running my fingers lightly across her back: down her spine, along her neckline, beneath her shoulder blades, along her lower back, just under her breasts...anywhere that's really sensitive. Then we lock eyes again and I give her the most intense sexual stare that caused pussy juice to flood her venus mound. She immediately starts kissing me and runs her hands right on my cock, which I've also been pressing against her the whole time. She actually tries for a hand job, but had trouble getting into my jeans.

Seeing a clear window of opportunity, I know it's time to bounce and I tell her "Let's go." We make it to the entrance when she stops and tells me, "I can't leave my friend." I simply reply, "ok. Bathroom." She replies, "ok!" I take her hand and lead her around the club looking for a bathroom...but I can't find it! Improvising, we push through a door marked "Employees Only." I have no idea what it's for, but it was basically a stairwell. Not comfy enough for a quick bed, so I just had to press HB_Polkadots against the wall and slip my cock into her wet snatch. She moaned, "Give it to me!" I had to be a gentleman and oblige.

Dicknotism: bringing cock therapy to the women of Boston, one thrust at a time!