Life and Jealousy by F.V.

[FreeVerse]

Life and Jealousy
by FreeVerse
10-10-07

I'm laying back and meditating and pondering on life and such.

I remembered how at rare times I would be jealous of other guys in this whole gigantic world of dating, sex, love and such.

I also thought about others and their jealousy.

I thought about jealousy in general.

Thought popping out of my head.

Then I thought that people who I feel jealousy of are enjoying their life.

I then separated life itself and my life. Life as a being, and my life as another.
Life as a being for everyone, and then the life as a being for myself. I though of it profoundly and dropped it. When I look at it now, life is actually one being, and we all see it and live it differently.

And when I look at others success, happiness, greatness, etc. in whatever, I see as something they bring to life. Life, is not only for me, other should bring as much as they can to life. We are celebrating life and how we live it.

Life is not only ours, it's for everybody, we have different ways of seeing it, living it, and what we GIVE to it.

- FreeVerse

[flow]

Hi FV

I just Love your really trippy posts, like this one They always smack me in the face when I'm the most unguarded.

I totally agree with you on your perception of life. Life is one being that we all share.

Come to think of it, it means that when you walk up to a woman its not two strangers meeting but two aspects of the same being getting together. You already know her and she knows you.

Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was: Do you know there is a way to actually feel this all encompassing life?

If you have some skill in meditation you can do this exercise and every time you do it you should get a stronger feeling.

1. Sit down on the floor and meditate, zazen-style with open eyes is the best. Concentrate on your breathing.

2. When your deep into it, you try to feel the boundary of your life/spirit/soul/whatever-aura. It should be somewhere close to your skin, slightly outside or slightly inside. Sometimes its further out and sometimes its hidden as a really tiny spot of life somewhere deep inside your body. If its more or less dislocated from your body you probably took some strange drug recently, try to get it in line with your body, and if that doesn't work stop the exercise and try another time.

OK, found it? Then go to 3.

3. Slowly let your aura grow, if it doesn't fill your body, let it fill your body. If it still doesn't fill your body its because YOU are locking it down from fear. Find the lock and release it.
When it fills your body let it grow slowly outside your body in all directions. The feeling should be as if you are shining with an aura just slightly bigger than you. Feel how a tiny part of the floor and air around you just became a part of YOU. Stay there until it feels natural.

4. Now, be bold and let your aura grow quickly until every object in the room is inside your aura and a part of you. Feel the tiny life there is in all these objects. Stay here until you feel safe. Then do 5.

5. Listen to all the sounds that comes from the space outside your aura. Get to know all the sounds, think about where and how they are generated. When you know them all intimately go to 6.

6. Let your aura grow with a snap until its so big that all the things that generates these sounds are within it. It should be huge now, there will be men and women, children, animals and plants that is now part of you, they are you, you are them, feel them, love them.

7. Now it should be easy to just let this aura of life and love expand faster than light, until the whole earth is within, feel that, love everything but don't stop, just keep expanding faster and faster until suddenly you and the universe is one. Feel this, this is it, the life being. Stay here for a while, not to long, and then slowly retract your aura until it is only slightly surrounding you. Let it stay there and stop meditating.

8. Rest and reflect on what you just experienced. WHO are you? WHAT are you?

My mind is still

Your friend Flow

[king_david23]

After meditating on such issues, I have come to feel that most of these issues really do come from a scarcity/losing mentality.

Jealousy is programmed into us as a byproduct of evolution and wanting to impregnate/mate with the most fertile female. That being said, do you think the pack leader or Alpha male ever worried or was jealous? Nope becasue he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there would always be more...more women, more food, more drink.

Theres always more!

[FreeVerse]

Originally Posted by flow

Hi FV

I just Love your really trippy posts, like this one They always smack me in the face when I'm the most unguarded.

I totally agree with you on your perception of life. Life is one being that we all share.

Come to think of it, it means that when you walk up to a woman its not two strangers meeting but two aspects of the same being getting together. You already know her and she knows you.

Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was: Do you know there is a way to actually feel this all encompassing life?

If you have some skill in meditation you can do this exercise and every time you do it you should get a stronger feeling.

1. Sit down on the floor and meditate, zazen-style with open eyes is the best. Concentrate on your breathing.

2. When your deep into it, you try to feel the boundary of your life/spirit/soul/whatever-aura. It should be somewhere close to your skin, slightly outside or slightly inside. Sometimes its further out and sometimes its hidden as a really tiny spot of life somewhere deep inside your body. If its more or less dislocated from your body you probably took some strange drug recently, try to get it in line with your body, and if that doesn't work stop the exercise and try another time.

OK, found it? Then go to 3.

3. Slowly let your aura grow, if it doesn't fill your body, let it fill your body. If it still doesn't fill your body its because YOU are locking it down from fear. Find the lock and release it.
When it fills your body let it grow slowly outside your body in all directions. The feeling should be as if you are shining with an aura just slightly bigger than you. Feel how a tiny part of the floor and air around you just became a part of YOU. Stay there until it feels natural.

4. Now, be bold and let your aura grow quickly until every object in the room is inside your aura and a part of you. Feel the tiny life there is in all these objects. Stay here until you feel safe. Then do 5.

5. Listen to all the sounds that comes from the space outside your aura. Get to know all the sounds, think about where and how they are generated. When you know them all intimately go to 6.

6. Let your aura grow with a snap until its so big that all the things that generates these sounds are within it. It should be huge now, there will be men and women, children, animals and plants that is now part of you, they are you, you are them, feel them, love them.

7. Now it should be easy to just let this aura of life and love expand faster than light, until the whole earth is within, feel that, love everything but don't stop, just keep expanding faster and faster until suddenly you and the universe is one. Feel this, this is it, the life being. Stay here for a while, not to long, and then slowly retract your aura until it is only slightly surrounding you. Let it stay there and stop meditating.

8. Rest and reflect on what you just experienced. WHO are you? WHAT are you?

My mind is still

Your friend Flow

Yeah, man I got to try that when I have no distractions and can be to myself. Thanks bro.

Originally Posted by king_david23

After meditating on such issues, I have come to feel that most of these issues really do come from a scarcity/losing mentality.

Jealousy is programmed into us as a byproduct of evolution and wanting to impregnate/mate with the most fertile female. That being said, do you think the pack leader or Alpha male ever worried or was jealous? Nope becasue he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there would always be more...more women, more food, more drink.

Theres always more!

Right, that really fits into the picture. I see what you're saying.



I'm really thinking as a whole. As in sharing (thinking in abundance and not scarcity) this being we call life, and relating that to how everyone has their accomplishments, greatness, joy, etc in life and that they're giving to it and bringing to it as well as I am. It's not for me or that person alone but for ALL. I'm not thinking me and comparison and contrast with the next person, but this WHOLE being we share. I can't be jealous if someone is giving to something that is also mine. Instead I'd be happy for them.

[*Silver*]

Originally Posted by FreeVerse

I can't be jealous if someone is giving to something that is also mine. Instead I'd be happy for them.

Wether its yours or not, you should be happy for them! Atleast thats my belif!

Good posts guys!!!

[ballin]

Interesting you bring this up FreeVerse. I was thinking something along the same lines earlier today. Sometimes I get this feeling, like if a friend hooks up with a girl I liked, that I don't like her anymore. I know this is not the right outlook so I started looking at the world through a different lens, actually looking at it in exactly the same way you described, and I realized that this jealously/dislike is stupid. In fact, I would rather a girl I like hook up with one of my friends than some guy I don't know. I can be happy for someone I know, I know she is with someone that's a good person, and that she isn't getting all kinds of diseases from it.
Although I realized this, I sometimes find myself straying from this frame of reality and need to re-adjust. It's funny how logically I can know something, yet have trouble getting my subconscious to accept it.
I wish I had more friends that talk about deeper, more philosophical stuff like this. I love exploring the depths of the universe and human mind. Unfortunately, I can probably count on one hand the number of friends I have who are really open to a conversation like this-or at least say something intelligent along these lines... and I know lots of people.

Flow, that sounds awesome, I think I need to start regularly meditating first though. Meditation is one of those things that's high up on my list, but I haven't disciplined myself enough to make it a routine part of my life. Do you have any general recommendations on meditation? What kind of method(s) do you use. In a book I have on Nei Kung, the author says something along the lines of: you shouldn't be "trying to meditate", you shouldn't be trying to accomplish something or search for something or not. You're just supposed to sit there with a clear mind and focus on your dantien (I think it's called - which is the energy chakra above your groin). Of course this is coming from specific culture and practice, I know there are tons of different outlooks and methods from all over the world regarding meditation.

[flow]

Originally Posted by ballin

Flow, that sounds awesome, I think I need to start regularly meditating first though. Meditation is one of those things that's high up on my list, but I haven't disciplined myself enough to make it a routine part of my life. Do you have any general recommendations on meditation? What kind of method(s) do you use. In a book I have on Nei Kung, the author says something along the lines of: you shouldn't be "trying to meditate", you shouldn't be trying to accomplish something or search for something or not. You're just supposed to sit there with a clear mind and focus on your dantien (I think it's called - which is the energy chakra above your groin). Of course this is coming from specific culture and practice, I know there are tons of different outlooks and methods from all over the world regarding meditation.

What you describe sound very much like the technique I use. I was introduced to Zazen, which is the technique used in Zen Buddhism. And I meditate rather irregularly, sometimes a lot, sometimes not at all.

Most meditation methods are based on the same foundation. I think you can learn the technique from almost any school. Just learn the basic "empty your mind and concentrate on the dantien" technique from any school. Avoid the techniques that even for beginners focus on very specific visualisations. To learn the basics its a 30 minutes practical introduction by an instructor. Do get a practical instruction, you wont understand how to do it effective enough just reading about the technique. You will also learn basic tricks for handling uncomfortable or dangerous feelings and thoughts that can emerge during meditation. This is important.

In Zazen you can become more advanced and meditate on specific koans. A koan is a riddle or mind-puzzel created with the intention of getting your brain to think outside its normal perception of the world. Ordinary koans are created so that they will make you get the deeper meaning of fundamental principles of Buddhist philosophy.

What I have done is to experiment with creating my own koans. Koans that are created with the intent of changing me or making me understand something I cannot grasp.

For instance you can use NLP style suggestions as koans during meditation if you want to change your mindset or behaviour. Its really powerful to do that. One way to do this is to write the suggestion (several different at the same time is ok) on a lot of small pieces of paper and place them on the floor in your field of vision. And then you place 2 or 3 small objects among the papers. These objects should be carefully chosen so there is absolutely NO logical explanation for why the are chosen relative the suggestions you wrote on the papers. The purpose of these objects is to create a paradox your brain cannot understand, which will force it to reconfigure itself out of stress. And then you meditate until you suddenly know that your brain has changed. Don't be surprised if you get really cool hallucinations during a meditation session where you use visual props like this, its a result of the stress reaction and the visual input.

WARNING! Be VERY careful with how you chose your suggestions. You can really fuck up your brain with the wrong stuff and even induce a psychotic condition.

That said I really recommend to at least test some of your limits with some wild suggestions. If you do you will unlock powers in you, you had no idea you possessed. The exercise I described is a rather wild thing if you stay a longer time in the feeling that you and the universe is one. It can be really hard to get rid of the very strong belief "I am the UNIVERSE, I am GOD" that will inevitable be the result of such an experience. Im not totally sure I actually have yet

Was this what you wanted to know?

[bossyboots]

Hey Flow,

It's great that you're meditating but I want to clarify that what you suggest is not koan practice.

I sat for several years before moving to a Zen Buddhist monastery where I was ordained as a monk and lived for 4 years. I still consider myself a beginner but I do have a better grasp than most westerners on what Zen is NOT.

It is not about auto-suggestion or any other kind of "brainwashing". It is about waking up to the present moment and realizing what you are. It is true that koans cannot be solved rationally and therefore frustrate any attempt to reason them out. Koans were not invented in the usual way of "thought up" by someone as a "trick" to change someone's way of thinking. They usually erupted spontaneously in an interaction between a teacher and a student and precipitated an enlightenment experience.

From there, what is understood comes from direct experience and cannot be shaken up by buddha himself.

To paraphrase an old master - "You will be like a man who has drunk a glass of water and knows for himself whether it is cold or warm"

If you'd like to use NLP when you meditate, by all means, do so - but do not confuse this with koan practice.

It seems to me that what we're talking about is the problem of changing our beliefs. In my experience, suggestion, repetition and affirmation do not bring about lasting change.

I can tell myself "my head is made from cheese" a billion times and I still will not believe it. If I did succeed at believing it, I think you'd agree that I'd just gone deeper into delusion.

On the one hand "I am the universe, I am god" is true, but if you think of this "I" as something separate and different from others you're just piling delusion on top of delusion. Unless your "I" includes rocks, trees, murderers, pollution and politicians you're just building up your ego.

Instead of 'trying to believe' something's true, investigate for yourself whether or not it is true.

It is very difficult to maintain a consistent meditation practice so if you can find a group in your area that will support your efforts then check it out.

[FreeVerse]

Originally Posted by ballin

Interesting you bring this up FreeVerse. I was thinking something along the same lines earlier today. Sometimes I get this feeling, like if a friend hooks up with a girl I liked, that I don't like her anymore. I know this is not the right outlook so I started looking at the world through a different lens, actually looking at it in exactly the same way you described, and I realized that this jealously/dislike is stupid. In fact, I would rather a girl I like hook up with one of my friends than some guy I don't know. I can be happy for someone I know, I know she is with someone that's a good person, and that she isn't getting all kinds of diseases from it.
Although I realized this, I sometimes find myself straying from this frame of reality and need to re-adjust. It's funny how logically I can know something, yet have trouble getting my subconscious to accept it.
I wish I had more friends that talk about deeper, more philosophical stuff like this. I love exploring the depths of the universe and human mind. Unfortunately, I can probably count on one hand the number of friends I have who are really open to a conversation like this-or at least say something intelligent along these lines... and I know lots of people.

Flow, that sounds awesome, I think I need to start regularly meditating first though. Meditation is one of those things that's high up on my list, but I haven't disciplined myself enough to make it a routine part of my life. Do you have any general recommendations on meditation? What kind of method(s) do you use. In a book I have on Nei Kung, the author says something along the lines of: you shouldn't be "trying to meditate", you shouldn't be trying to accomplish something or search for something or not. You're just supposed to sit there with a clear mind and focus on your dantien (I think it's called - which is the energy chakra above your groin). Of course this is coming from specific culture and practice, I know there are tons of different outlooks and methods from all over the world regarding meditation.

Hey thanks man. You know what, I don't have a "form" of meditation. Meditation is a word I use so people know where I'm coming from. I don't plan to meditate, I slip into to it. Meditating is cool to do like every week, but doing all the time can be boring. Well meditating is another story, yeah the whole jealousy thing, can really mess you up if you don't control it. I wouldn't feel right if I tried to eliminate it. After all, it's human nature.

Originally Posted by bossyboots

Hey

It is about waking up to the present moment and realizing what you are.

yeah, most of the times when I'd really think to myself, it was mainly about self discovery and being comfortable with yourself.

[flow]

Hi, Bossyboots

Thanks for helping to clarify what I'm talking about. My Intention was not to write an entire essay on Buddhist meditation, but hint at some useful things most people don't know. So I skipped some important parts of it.

I do think we are in total agreement on everything but let me explain a bit more about my perspective.

About koans:
I'm in complete agreement with you on what you say about koans. I have nothing to add to that.

About NLP:
I'm also in complete agreement with you on the fact that suggestion, repetition and affirmation does not bring along lasting effect. However I find the rather structured methods of NLP as a good starting point for change in small steps if you create koan-like meditation exercises from them.

About NLP and koan-like excercises:
My main point is that by starting with an NLP style suggestion and then adding elements of an unrational paradoxical nature to them, they will become very powerful tools for meditation that no longer is about auto-suggestion or any other kind of "brainwashing", as you state it. They become tools for waking up to the present moment and realizing what you are. And they do that because the exercise WILL LEAD TO the shattering of the illusion that caused you to create the NLP suggestions in the first place. This is not something I constructed from theory. It is completely based on my personal experience with creating and doing exercises like this.

Sometimes they do not lead to the shattering of an illusion, but on those occasions you will at least have accomplished a temporary and somehow helpful change of your mindset.

About delusions:

I can tell myself "my head is made from cheese" a billion times and I still will not believe it. If I did succeed at believing it, I think you'd agree that I'd just gone deeper into delusion.

You're right about this. First of all it usually doesn't work and if it does you have created a psychotic condition on yourself.

On the one hand "I am the universe, I am god" is true, but if you think of this "I" as something separate and different from others you're just piling delusion on top of delusion. Unless your "I" includes rocks, trees, murderers, pollution and politicians you're just building up your ego.

That is the fun part of the exercise I described. If you're the kind of guy that is drawn to power trips you will find the ego boosting effect of that belief totally irresistible and you will go deeper and deeper into the delusion by doing the exercise over and over. And one day your delusion of grandeur will be so big that you will have to include really everything into it to boost it further. If you do, your ego will be destroyed. It happened to me. At that moment I saw the ultimate consequence of my ego and it was the most horrifying experience I've ever had. I had to let it go. And when I did I was just laughing at myself and crying with joy for over 30 minutes.

Events I've experienced since then has caused me to rebuild another ego of a different type, and it has become a problem for me. I'm currently in the process of dealing with that. I had a spontaneous meditation session a couple of weeks ago (hadn't meditated for over a year) and experienced how an energy flow with the strength of a tornado was blowing right through me and tore away everything and just left me with a completely still mind afterwards.

My mind is still.

/Flow

[hongchang]

hey, this topic reminds me of a great articles from this guy, steve pavlina. he writes really good stuff on inner game, and just about everything in life.

Here what he wrote about is very similar to what freeverse has written in his initial post. i used his article to tackle my own issues of jealousy, and it works well.

Overcoming Jealousy

enjoy.

[bossyboots]

Hey Flow,

Cool. Yeah, I think it's great what you posted. So happy to see how many guys on this forum are on a path to something deeper than just getting laid ...Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Cheers.

[FreeVerse]

Originally Posted by bossyboots

Hey Flow,

Cool. Yeah, I think it's great what you posted. So happy to see how many guys on this forum are on a path to something deeper than just getting laid ...Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Cheers.

Word. It's good to know heads in here are doing other things.