In dire need of advice

[Pickup Professor]

I went out with a really cute college professor last night. I picked her up at her office and we both walked to my car and left from campus directly to the restaurant. She was wearing a black suit and had just finished teaching. When I saw her up close, I did not realize how good looking she is. She is only 5 feet tall but has a very cute face and a wonderful physique. I admit I appreciated her physical attractiveness far more than when I have seen her on campus in the past. I admit I was a little distracted by her beauty throughout the night, which affected my game. But that’s ok.

I took her (let’s call her Jane) out to a romantic, quaint, and quiet Italian restaurant. (There is not much to do where I live except for dining and good restaurants.) This girl has ENERGY. She kept talking and talking and talking. She is also very relaxed and enjoys busting people’s chops. As I opened the car door for her, I touched her arm. I touched her arm again while driving to the restaurant. We talked about work and her students. This topic makes her happy and we both have this in common, so I stayed with this thread for now.

We arrived at the restaurant. The restaurant, called “Café on the Green,” is located in the center of a large golf course. As I walked Jane to the door, I touched her arm again. I did not get any reaction from my gestures. We walked inside and sat down at the table I reserved: a window seat overlooking the part of the golf course that is lit-up at night. It was about 8:45 PM.

We sat facing each other. We talked about many topics throughout the night. This girl has so much talking-energy that I found myself having difficulty threading the conversation in any particular direction. I could not perform any kino during dinner as she never leaned forward except to eat. At some points during the evening, our conversation stalled. This may be due to my serious-minded personality that I have been working so hard to break. This girl is the opposite of serious. I found myself really enjoying her company for many reasons, but one key reason is that she has a tendency to break my seriousness. I actually found myself laughing much more and enjoying the interaction rather than worrying about it.

We had a great dinner and dessert. Then, around 10:15 PM. We decided to leave. I actually wanted to stay longer, but I think she wanted to go when she said, “I think our waiter wants to go home.” The restaurant closes at 10:00 PM and we were the only ones in the entire place. I thought this was a bad sign. If Jane was really interested in me, I believe she would have stayed longer.

We exited the restaurant and walked out to my car. I kinoed again. This time, I touched her arms and, very briefly, touched her lower back. She did not react to my gestures. We both entered my car and drove back to campus where her car was. After we arrived, I walked her to her car. She then stood looking at me and I looked at her. She gave me a warm hug and thanked me for a wonderful evening. But I wanted more. I looked at her eyes, paused, and kissed her. She resisted in that she only kissed me on the lips a few times, not the more passionate French kiss I was looking for. She was also backing away slightly while kissing. This puzzled me, but I did not get discouraged.

After this kiss, I told her I’ll call her this weekend. Then she said, “You have my number.” She referred to her office number. I looked her in the eyes and said, “I need your mobile number.” She smiled and hesitated. Here is where my leadership qualities paid off. Earlier in the night, while at the restaurant, an important leadership/dominance thread emerged:

Emilio: “Did I surprise you when I asked you out?”
Jane: “Yes! You really did surprise me. I was not sure what I was going to say at first.”
Emilio: “I knew you were going to say yes.”
Jane: (paused) “How could you be so sure?”
Emilio: “If you had said no, I would have said something that would have changed your mind.”
Jane: (responding very quickly) “What would you have said?”
Emilio: (after a brief pause and smiling) “I am not sure exactly what I would have said. But I knew we were going out. Whatever my mind came up with, I would have convinced you. I do not take ‘no’ for an answer.”

This statement, I believe, really impressed her. I think this is the only time I impressed her the entire night. Now, I was not intentionally trying to impress her. I think I succeeded in exercising dominance.

Later, when I asked for her number and she paused:
Emilio: “I will call you this weekend.”
Jane: “You have my number.” (referring to her office number)
Emilio: “I need your mobile number.”
Jane: (smiled but hesitated)
Jane: “Well, ok. Maybe I will give you a fake number.” (Jane was busting my chops again, laughing. She is so good at sliding these comments in a conversation that I took her seriously for a moment!)
Emilio: “Even if you did, I still would not take ‘no’ for an answer.”
Jane: (smiling and looking me in the eyes) “I noticed that about you.”
Emilio: (took out a pen and Moleskine book and wrote down her mobile number)

Afterwards, I kissed her one more time. Same thing. We only kissed on the lips a couple times and nothing more. We said goodbye to each other, entered our respective cars, and drove off campus. At the campus exit, our cars were briefly next to each other (about 3 seconds). I was taking a right while Jane was taking a left. I looked left, she did not look at me at first but did look at me at the last possible second before I turned. She did not smile or wave at me. Whenever I have successfully attracted a woman, she always waves at me when leaving. That did not happen this time.

Based on what happened throughout this entire evening, I have no idea how to read this situation. Is she interested and just being cautious? Or is she not interested in me at all? Jane knows I like her after kissing her a few times. I need all the advice I can get as to how to ‘pull’ this girl to me. This opportunity provides me a chance to really practice the ‘pulling’ strategies that I learned in bootcamp. However, I must admit I like this girl. She is the first girl I have met in a very long time that I noticed I am able to truly relax, and laugh almost all of the time!

Regarding my pick-up strategy, people who know me understand that I have always been, and will always be, a hopeless romantic. Yes, I am one of those guys who truly enjoys the romantic process. (If anyone wants advice on romancing your partner, feel free to start a new thread. Romance has always been my greatest strength in relationships.) I know the PUA wants to go from initial meeting to close in a matter of hours. The more I learn about myself, the more I realize that romancing my partner over a reasonable timeframe (e.g., a few dates) leading to passionate sex is very rewarding. Romance is my way for accessing a woman’s deep emotions and bringing those emotions to the surface. Trust me when I say that a sexual encounter with a woman is far more intense, extraordinary, and rewarding when her deepest emotions and desires are attached to you, in addition to the physical or animal-based attraction. I have experienced this kind emotionally-charged, passionate sex, as well as the more casual-based sex. I will gladly be a little patient and use romance to access a woman’s deep emotions if I know it will lead to the more extraordinary, emotionally-charged, passionate sex.

However, I see one key area where I need to improve: inner game. More specifically, exercise dominance more effectively, less concern or worry about any specific outcome, and have Jane work much harder to win my attention.

Fellow PUA and guests: any advice you can provide that will help me build what started last night would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks!

[Mr. Incredible]

Prof, I think you may have gone for the kiss too soon. Brush up on the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder. You had incidental class 1 kino when you touched her arm, but then jumped straight to kissing and got resistance.

I have a similar psychology to yours in some ways, emotional connection is important. But a woman wants the man to be the tiger and the lover at the same time. I get the impression you're only being the lover OR the tiger. You need to be them both at once. If she does start sleeping with you, it will be easy to transition into a long-term relationship and the emotional connection will deepen. I don't know if you've read any of Daniel Rose's or David Shade's materials, but they cover this emotional aspect of sex pretty well.

As for the seriousness... Try doing improv comedy classes? You seem similar to me, I'm very left-brain-dominant. Exercise, Yoga, playing a sport can all get you out of your head and into your body.

Edit: Do you work at the same university? She may be wary of getting involved with a co-worker. In any case, let what happens, happen. You will either get the girl or get experience that will help with the next one

[Pickup Professor]

Mr. Incredible - Thanks for your feedback. Looks like I moved way too quickly. Ever since bootcamp, I have definitely become much bolder - too bold in this case! I messed up. I am wondering if I can still 'pull' her despite what happened last night AND not make it seem like I am chasing her. I think she is worth it...just not sure how I am going to do it. Ugh! Right now I feel VERY discouraged. So, I will make sure I get a good night sleep tonight, have a moderate workout tomorrow morning, then meet with Yeayea in NYC in the afternoon and continue my pickup training.

To answer your question, she does work at my school. There is nothing in the rules that say we cannot date. Other professors, I have learned recently, are dating in the college. Somehow this thread came-up when Jane and I were talking. Jane asked me about colleagues dating. I told her I review the contact we signed to see if there were any rules that against it. I did not find any. When I told Jane, she laughed hysterically.

It's so sad that a wonderful evening had to end with resistance and possibly some discomfort for Jane. We really had a good time.

[Canjay]

Originally Posted by Pickup Professor

It's so sad that a wonderful evening had to end with resistance and possibly some discomfort for Jane. We really had a good time.

There is no resistance, only feedback... vary your behaviour until you produce the result you're looking for.

I know it's a big picture answer and you are already ANALyzing this enough so you'll add you're own detailed content and go from there

[rooster]

Hey man, good post and great story. Few things came to mind reading it though.

It sounds like you definitely put a lot of effort and thought into the night, maybe too much in some areas.

When you mentioned that you had reviewed the policy on professors dating, and told her about it, she busted up laughing. The first thing that came to mind was; you asked her on a date and then reviewed the policy to see if it was alright, to her it would most likely seem the same way, you go to one dinner and already you're looking at the school policy on dating.

Three of the main things I remember from my boot camp with Brian are: You're inviting her into your reality she's a guest, your dick is a present to these girls, and thirdly; lead the damn interaction.

Invite her into your world, just because it was valentines day doesn't mean you have to go to dinner, I haven't taken a girl to dinner in years.

Most of my dates, I'll meet at a local coffee shop (great date for Kino and leading) then maybe take her for a short walking tour of my town telling them all cool interesting facts, and then I go for the kiss under this street lamp. (see I've got a little romance in me too) Or I go to the mall (when I need to buy something) and walk around, maybe grab a cup of coffee at the food court, and then go to the pet store and play with the puppies, usually for this I get her to play along that we're engaged (only because they don't let you play with the puppies unless you seem like you really are going to buy one). --Just keep it simple man.

In parts of your post you come off sounding a little needy, for instance when you said “I need your mobile number.”. You don't need anything, remember your dick is a present to all woman kind, why would you force a present on anyone?

Lead the way, you should have been the one saying to request to leave the restaurant, but it sounded like you "wanted" to stay, and this is what fucked you up, as soon as you enter a state of wanting, you enter a state of lacking.

Alright, I'm done talking out of my ass.

If you get a chance though check out my sedona method post on how to let go of wanting and needing, (if you want I can send you some of the cds) or check out my 2min # close post on how to just be playful + dominant.

[Brian]

No no no.

E - you should've fucked her in your office before you asked her out. What did I say OVER AND OVER???? Escalate. Go hard. Fuck her. This is not about dinner, talk, bullshit. This is about DICK-IN-WOMAN.

Make it happen.

You didn't do it because you didn't know you could. So I'm telling you now, from experience, you could have fucked her then and there.

Here's what she is thinking: 'I keep giving this guy signals to bend me over (remember her bullshitting at your bookshelf?? um, bend her over you fuckin rocket scientist), and he's treating me like he wants to be my boyfriend. So I'll act like a girlfriend and hold out so I can keep him on a leash.'

Dude, you did everything right, everything you learned at the workshop - eye contact, kino, conversation, ATTITUDE, and LOW AND BEHOLD SHE WANTED TO FUCK YOU.

Golly gee, this shit actually works!!!!!!!!!!!

So for future reference, if a woman is attracted to you, sitting her little butt on your desk or standing in front of you pretending to care about your books, fuck the beejezus out of her.

In this case, here's what I'd do. Stop being so traditional and romantic. Go out for drinks at the end of the day. Think of a fun reason to go back to your place, kiss her neck and shoulders, slowly undress her, lick her from her ankles to her pussy, and smash her like the Devil himself.

[Canjay]

Originally Posted by Brian

E - you should've fucked her in your office before you asked her out. What did I say OVER AND OVER???? Escalate. Go hard. Fuck her. This is not about dinner, talk, bullshit. This is about DICK-IN-WOMAN.

.

I like this answer WAY better than my bullshit...

[Pickup Professor]

Brian,

I have to admit you are making sense. I am going to be a little more cautious in that she is a professor at my school. If I have another opportunity, I will do my best to follow your advice.

My sticking point, as I am learning, is all in my head. I did not realize that my bootcamp training was actually working. She had NO interest in my books at all! But I have so much bad social programming that I am going to have to go through these mistakes until I *believe* that I can do it.

After the night was over I asked myself, "How could this night have turned out if Brian was in control?" I know the answer now. One important point, though, is that I could not have had sex with her while she was in my office. It was early in the day and students were walking by! But I could have invited her to meet me for coffee in my office later that night. I could have closed the door and escalated.

I have learned from you the power in being BOLD. I have become significantly bolder since bootcamp thanks to your training, specifically one of the drills. There is an old saying, "Fortune favors the bold." I lost an opportunity, but I did learn an important lesson.

______________________________

Everyone - thanks for your feedback and support. During frustrating times like these, it's really nice to know that we have a community to draw strength from.

[Canjay]

Motto of the SAS "Who Dares, Wins"