A few thoughts on rejection

[rarebreed]

This post is mainly for those who have approach anxiety. If you don't have approach anxiety, well, I suggest you stop reading or continue if you please.

I was thinking that this whole deal about rejection is just a subjective thought gone wrong. See, rejection is mainly connected to fear. Fear, as we should all know, is a powerful emotion that controls our behaviors. These behaviors are manifested from that fear that causes most men to act shy, needy, supplicative and everything else that makes woman want to run away.

The best way to rid this fear is to get outiside of the comfort zone we are all used to. When we do something out of the norm there is a rush of adrenaline because we are doing something that we aren't used to. The only problem I see is that this rush can be as addictive as crack or heroine because we get used to this feeling, but it's important to get over this addiction of adrenaline and get to the point where we can control it to where it's something normal so that we can get our intended outcome. This, of course, takes time to do. It's a never ending process, so enjoy it. I know I am.

See, I got "rejected" yesterday. I was talking to some girl at the gym. We were having a legitimate conversation and I asked her what she does on Thursdays at night. She said whatever and I told her that I have a friend who is a promoter at some club near downtown. She knew the exact location of the place. I told her that she should come and that she should bring a friend. I also told her that my friends would love her because she's got a great personality. She said she wasn't sure she should go because her boyfriend wouldn't like her hanging around a bunch of guys. I told her to bring her boyfriend along because it was a mixed crowd. I asked her for her number, but she didn't budge. I wasn't hurt emotionally and I didn't take it as a negative thing because there's nothing wrong with me. There may be something wrong with her because either she doesn't like to hang around cool people or she's not used to talking to people with great personalities.

I didn't take this as "rejection", but I took it as an experience to learn from. What did I learn? Well, first I learned that me trying to get her to meet my friends was a bad idea. Secondly, I learned that she was actually a rude person because of the bolded statement above. Third, the fact that she brought up her boyfriend meant that in her mind I was hitting on her, which is only a subjective thought. This lets me know that she's not used to talking to people that are interested in meeting others and she may quit possibly been a pervert because when a woman thinks we are hitting on her she's thinking that you want to have sex with her, but sex popped up in her mind when all I was trying to do is be cool.

Now, there are guys that do actually hit on woman by touching them too soon in the convo, but they do it to seek approval or because they're being needy. That's bad, but when you have the belief of being a sausage with feet that all woman want to take advantage of then all that neediness and supplicative behavior goes away and all that's left are behaviors that are congruent with the belief of being a sausage with feet all woman want to take advantage of.

The message I want to get across is that "rejection" is subjective and the only thing we have are experiences that make us grow into better men. When a woman thinks you are hitting on her that means she's thinking about sex before you are or your behaviors aren't aligned with the belief that you are a sausage with feet woman want to take advantage of. If you guys aren't sure which of the two you fall in, then I suggest meeting someone with game and change your beliefs.

Thank you for reading my rants.

[Pastiche]

Originally Posted by rarebreed

Now, there are guys that do actually hit on woman by touching them too soon in the convo, but they do it to seek approval or because they're being needy. That's bad, but when you have the belief of being a sausage with feet that all woman want to take advantage of then all that neediness and supplicative behavior goes away and all that's left are behaviors that are congruent with the belief of being a sausage with feet all woman want to take advantage of.

The message I want to get across is that "rejection" is subjective and the only thing we have are experiences that make us grow into better men. When a woman thinks you are hitting on her that means she's thinking about sex before you are or your behaviors aren't aligned with the belief that you are a sausage with feet woman want to take advantage of.

This reminds me of the time we were out with FastEddie last summer...
at that "Country Western Club" with hip-hop music (weird combination)

The three of us walked around and i forget who initiated the two asian girls
But I remember getting into conversation with one of them.
I was thinking "bla bla bla bla yeah that's great"
Then I leaned in and kissed her. And smiled.
I don't even think it was but a minute or two since meeting them
She just looked at me.
I thought it was funny.

Then in your report of the night, you went off on my calibrating issues
and tried to pat me on the back about doing better next time...
as if i felt bad about it! WTF?
I wasn't even thinking about "calibration" or rejection
It was more like stupid fun.
Just being random.
Without a care.

How can you be rejected when no one expects it?
Hell I didn't even know i was gonna do that! lol
I just thought it'd be funny to see what happens.
You think i was "calibrating" that same night, same place,
when i coaxed those two guys into coming over...
the boyfriend wanting to kick my ass...
while the wife, girlfriend, and i waved "hi" at them?

When you're bullshitting around and getting over your fears/excuses
there's no such thing as too early or too soon.
There's no "calibration" or "rejection."
Only growth and accomplishment.
There's really nothing to think about.

You're right it's subjective.
We had completely different perspectives.

[Pickup Professor]

Rarebreed:

Awesome post! I would like to build on your post with some of my pickup experiences that relate to your topic. The purpose is to inspire and motivate other pick-up artists who are dealing with rejection.

___________________

When I started bootcamp in January, my approach anxiety was so high that I could barely walk. Today, I can approach women far more easily. The key is redefining "rejection" in your mind. The moment I feel "rejected," I say this to myself:

"I was not rejected. I am learning."

I know this sounds like a cliche, but redefining a term requires you to change your emotions about the term. When you hear the word "rejection," how do you feel? Think about that for a moment...

Most likely, the word "rejection" brings-up negative emotions. What if positive emotions replaced the negative emotions? What would "rejection" mean to you if you were happy every time you were rejected? This may sound ridiculous, but makes sense at an emotional level.

For example, imagine a beautiful woman that you have seen that you would love to pick-up and take home with you for a night. Seriously, imagine her right now....

If you knew, with absolulte certainty, that you would successfully close with that beautiful woman after being rejected by 75 other women, would you do it? Of course, you would! I am not saying that you would close with the beautiful woman you imagined, but you would succeed with a woman eventually. Your success is inevitable.

Like many people reading this forum, I am still learning and early in my training. But I can tell you that, after applying what I have learned over the past 2 months and attempted over 75 approaches, I have been rejected more than 90 percent of the time. Sound terrible? Depends how you look at it. Prior to bootcamp, women rejected me 100%of the time (outside my social network). Now this number is down to 90% after 2 months of practice. What am I going to be like 2 months from now? 6 months from now? 1 year from now? In other words, being "rejected" is good for my training. The more I am rejected, the better I get. Period. Therefore, "rejection," to me, means "success."

The more I learn about pickup, the more I realize that being a successful pickup artist is 80 percent inner game, 20 percent mechanics (e.g., eye contact, kino, escalation ladder). (The 80/20 rule occurs so much in nature; pickup is no different.)

Hope this helps.

[Zudnic]

Same advice applies for rejection Language swearing warning: <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/z2Q7YRDL90E&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/z2Q7YRDL90E&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>