Sexual Power

[Brian]

I've noticed that a lot of guys, including myself, often get bogged down with analyzing and strategizing in their love lives. I asked a buddy of mine if he was seeing anyone, and he replied, "well, there's a couple chicks I'm working on..."

"Chicks" that he is "working on."

When guys realize they can consciously and deliberately improve their relationships with women, they often fall into the trap of over-analysis:

"What's the best opener"

"What do I say to make her attracted to me?"

"Is she single? How do I get her before another guy makes his move?"

"How do I get her to have sex with me?"

All these questions stem from a conceptual perception of women. Each woman becomes a bundle of concepts, or obstacles that require a specific tactic. This is not reality. It is this reduction of human beings into concepts that turned me off to a career in psychology. It is wrong. It leads to all sorts of bad things, the worst of which is an emotional disconnect between you and the woman. As long as she is an opponent to manipulate, or a robot to program, you won't be able to truly see her.

A woman can feel it when a man sees her. This sight stems from the same state of mind that Zen Buddhists call mindfulness; they talk about looking at an object, and only seeing what is. If you are seeing a tree, you only see what is - you don't call it "tree" in your mind, and you don't make judgments or analyze based on what you know of "trees." You see what's in front of you and take it in, without clouding your sight with the muddiness of conceptual thought.

What does this have to do with men and women? This sight can be very difficult to attain when looking at a tree or a rock. But a woman's beauty can bring a man into the moment and jolt his thoughts clear, so that he truly sees her. Women can give men this experience simply with their radiance.

If you have gotten in the habit of conceptualizing "woman," turning her into an obstacle course that requires strategy to navigate, you won't be able to see her.

The reason why truly seeing a woman is good, in my opinion, is that it triggers your attractive masculine expression, i.e. "game." You are "on" or "in the zone." Often this is called being "money," as in "Dude, I met this girl. She was so beautiful, and we clicked, and dude....I was sooo money."

Your natural "game" comes out when you see. You were built for this - your mind is a social attraction machine. When a woman turns you on, and you truly see her feminine essence, your 7 million year-old subconscious super-computer goes into full effect. All the theory you've amassed goes right out the window, and your spontaneous creativity takes over.

It goes without saying that learning new skills, and developing a deep understanding of women will make a huge impact on your dating success. If you're starting from a position of scarcity, you'll want to figure out what you're doing wrong, and get a clear view of the right path. We offer several products, as well as our drills workshop (http://vindicarlo.com/training) that can get you on the right track.

What you'll ultimately realize in your learning is that what is truly attractive to a woman is what is truly masculine in you. You already have what it takes - it's a matter of cutting out the bullshit and cultivating your sexual power.

One of the main reasons why men conceptualize women is out of fear. Sometimes this fear is called "approach anxiety." I think this fear stems from a deeper fear. It is a sexual fear - the guy fears that he won't be able to deeply satisfy the woman sexually. The reason why this is scary is that other people might find out, especially other guys. I actually think that the cause of approach anxiety in men is about other guys. What if "the guys" knew girls didn't like you? What if they teased you because you couldn't get laid? What if people found out you weren't good in bed?

Because of this fear, men need women to coddle them. They need to know that the woman approves of them. Unfortunately, trying to get someone to like you is probably the most unattractive thing you can do in an interaction. She doesn't want to babysit you, and she doesn't want to be duped into letting you sneak your dick into her. She wants to be seen by a sexually powerful man.

Which brings me to the practical application of all this. One way to begin seeing women is through some very basic lifestyle modification that I call Sexual Power Consolidation. By consolidating your sexual power, you override your fear with sexual desire, and more importantly, you eliminate other guys from your thoughts, thus taking all of your desire and directing completely towards the woman you are interested in. When there is nothing but her, you, and your sexual desire, you will see her. A woman gets turned on by being desired by a Man. When she sees that you see her, she will desire you as well. Approval-seeking is gone, distractions are gone, fear is gone. All that's left is her, you, and mutual desire.

Sexual Power Consolidation

1. Stop all excessive self-indulgence (quit jerking off all the time)

2. Avoid pornography

3. Quit talking about your sex life to other guys, or people in general. (LR's are productive as long as the intent is to help others.)

4. Treat your hands, mouth, eyes, attention, dick, your whole being, as a gift that you give to women. Especially with your dick, remind your self that it is not a dirty thing you sneak into women (as society tries to tell us). See it for what it is - an amazing gift you can give to a woman to make her feel ultimate pleasure. Identify your self, and your dick, as a gift to women.

5. Stop seeking approval or sexual gratification from women. Seek to give your sexual gift to them. Dedicate your gift to women who deserve it.

6. When you get rejected, remember, it means that she could not accept your gift at that time. If you shut down and go home, you are potentially depriving other women of your gift. There are probably several other women there who would love to get what you're offering. Don' t be a selfish asshole. Be generous. (Keep this in mind the next time you avoid approaching a woman - you're being selfish by not giving her the opportunity to enjoy your gift. Fucking rude!)

7. In bed, take your time and explore her body. Find out how and where she likes to be touched, not by asking, but by exploring and paying attention to her responses.

8. In sex, never try to satisfy her or stroke her a certain way. Give her everything you've got. Express your self fully with your body and your dick, and make her feel every inch of you. Tell her how she makes you feel, touch her as you truly want to, and let loose. Give it to her.

9. Tell no one. This is about you and her.

Ultimately, sight is about seeing women not as opponents or objects to get, but rather as soft, warm, radiant beings craving your gift of loving penetration. You truly are God's Gift to Women.

Peace and chicken grease,

Bri

[LIFEFORCE30]

Awesome Post Brian !!!!! You Are 100% Right!!!

[flow]

Brilliant!

Exactly what I needed to read at this very moment.

Thanks

/Flow

[TheVoid]

Great post!

People think they are concealed. Women especially operate by reading vibes and relying on their intuitions more than logic. On some level whether conscious or not they will become aware of your real intent.Which is why it is always preferable to always from a place of authenticity.

Void

[*Silver*]

Wow, wonderful post Brian! Great to read something from a "out of the box" point of view!!!!!

[bossyboots]

Brian,

Great post as always... I was just trying to explain to a friend how important it is to be genuinely attracted to the woman you're approaching.

When I'm turned on by her I get this rush and I just ride that into the interaction - I get the feeling that I can do no wrong. I'm right.

awesome

[sweet-tooth]

Brian, have you considered making a section or thread just for your better posts a la Vin's Blog in the Diclassified section?

I find your stuff really helpful, and it would be cool to have it all in one place for ease of reference.

[Brian]

Hey man good to hear from you

I appreciate that - this inner game forum is basically what you're talking about. It's for my more in-depth posts. My more elaborate posts are almost always on inner game stuff, because that's how I roll. So my designated "special" area is right here.

For specific techniques and whatnot, I post in the main forum.

[FreeVerse]

This helps me put a lot of things into awareness. However, to be honest, i'm not so sure about 1,2, and 3

3 - like you said I think it's ok if you tell someone how you did it to mentor them but left all the details out to keep that moment for you and her.

1 - Hey you got to know how to love yourself first before you start loving anyone else.

2 - I don't think there is anything wrong with porn if seen in a way to open you and your partners sex life to new things just as long as porn fucking is not the only thing but something for variety. It's not something you rely only on.

[Hardwired]

Brian, GREAT post. I will add that "unattachment to outcome" combined with "sexual power" is dynamite for blasting through women's resistance. Here's the attitude: You will be pleased if/when she accepts your "gift", but if she doesn't, "it's no big deal" you'll find someone else (soon!) who will.
This attitude helped me to a full close last weekend, despite an apparent "dead end" on Day 2. If you don't seem needy and pushy, they will be overwhelmed by intrigue....

[Brian]

Hey FV - I agree completely. What I meant was cutting that shit if it's taking up too much of your sexual energy, which it seems like, is the case with a lot of guys (and I've been there too

[FreeVerse]

Brian, you're a cool guy.

[SamC]

No offense, but you are completely wrong. And I'm not going to dig into your life. Just as extremes, I don't believe in simplicities. It's not how anything works. Including attraction. I would love to discuss this with you further.

[Brian]

Originally Posted by SamC

No offense, but you are completely wrong.

LOL

Go on...