Speak your Mind

[Daniel_B]

It is my true belief that speaking your mind will get you further than memorizing any line or routine. Now, it is also great to plan your approach and follow up; hey, if you want to do that, Kudos to you. But for those of you guys who still have trouble saying 'What to say, what to say', I want you to read and re-read this.

Speaking Your Mind

If you see her walking down the street and you haven't yet built the everyday courage to walk up and say 'I think you're cute and I wanted to say Hi', then you could go for something a bit less scary.
How about 'If I didn't talk to you, I would've regretted for the rest of the day' or 'Hi'
And when they reply with 'Hi' or 'Oh, why is that?' you could say something like 'I'm trying to get over my shyness' or 'I really don't have any prepared line, I just thought I would talk to you because it's better to talk with someone, than be alone'

The examples mentioned above are actually REAL, FIELD-TESTED and DONE AND TAUGHT by me. I won't promote myself here, but I will give you one of the most sacred secrets about great people.

They speak their minds...
but they do it with style.

Go out and say 'the first thing that is on your mind, or maybe the second', but do with style. The 'style' comes from calibrating your delivery. Keep in mind, that as far as it's genuine, it will have a good effect. But to be a seducer it takes more than genuine, it takes a combination of being genuine and agressiveness.
NOTE: By agressiveness, I don't mean hit her, neg her, push her. NO. I mean, determination, will, guts.

This is actually a real story and a real conversation that went down not too long ago with one dude I was helping out, I suggest that you go out and try it...

DUDE:'But what do I say!?? She's really hot man, and I wanna talk to her, but what do I say!??' (If this brings back some memories, it's ok to nod)
ME: Well, what are you thinking right now? I mean, what are you REALLY thinking?
DUDE: Well, she's hot. It will be random if I approach her, and I really don't know what to say other than 'Tell me a bit about you'
ME: Alright cool, go tell her exactly that. Something like 'I don't have anything ready to say, other than the fact that you're cute and I wanted to say Hi, can I sit down?'
DUDE: You serious...?
ME: GO
ME: Wait, before you go, take a deep breath and let that nervousness go.
There he goes, he seemed alright, I see him sit down. The girl's body language was open and 2 minutes later she was talking like no tomorrow. I leave without my friend noticing.
He rings me later to tell me that she asked for his number, and all he had to do was tell her that he was actually trying to get over his shyness, and asked her to tell him about herself, which she did. Then he told her about himself, things went smooth from them.

Speaking your mind is a concept that not only applies to approaching, but also to rapport, negotiating, etc. Keep that in mind. So when you want to do/say something, just go for it!

Seems easy, right? Well, it IS easy. Just got to have the calmness to do it.

In your honor

Daniel

[diablo]

it's VERY easy...
and if you go up to 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 people and do this...
you will realize, that your approach anxiety is ridiculous
and if you know what it's REALLY designed for...
then you can use your logic to kick the approach anxiety.

but you know what i've noticed dan...
that little approach anxiety nervousness comes back everyday.
i could open 15 sets last night, get 4 makeouts, and fuck one girl...
wakeup, approach another set the next day, and still feel that feeling.
crazy, the way our brains are wired. haha...

great post man
speaking of speaking my mind.
boost me up in the ranks over at pualifestyle.com!
i'm only a junior member. haha

[Daniel_B]

Haha Diablo.
I tell you what, I have no doubt that your game is TIGHT, though if you want to be ranked up, there is one thing you need to do.
And forgive me for being so honest here brother.
You need to write properly
Capitalize where it's needed, write in paragraphs, not in verses, etc. That's really it. People will recognize you more and take you more seriously. Your writing style will compliment your content. By the way, that's something that not only will help you in a forum (duh), but in any other aspect.

[diablo]

wait a sec..
writing in verses is not proper writing??

i picked up this writing style from badboy.
the things a guy has to do to move up in the world ha

[Daniel_B]

Lololololol

[Brian]

I love this Daniel - this is how I roll - I call it thinking aloud. Your most honest thoughts are usually the perfect thing to say, because they came from the human, real part of you. Since we're all human, you're humanity is always "appropriate."

[Daniel_B]

Thanks Brian. I haven't been here or heard from you in a long time. I've been busy running my own show (forum ^_^) and working on a project to help the Educational System here in California, I'm so excited about it .

Hope life is good for you and everyone else.

[Rewok]

Awesome.

I think this is pretty cool shit.

[Whiplash]

Yeah, although I think it's always a good idea to speak your mind do be careful. I almost got my ass kicked one time because of an experiment like this (although mine was a little more extreme). So yeah, just be careful. Guys in a group don't always perceive your actions the same way the girl you approach will.

Word of advice: Have good friends that are willing to back you up.

-Whiplash

[DMuffin]

*claps!*

i'm learning how to do this too.
could you give a run down on how you built style?
very interested to hear how YOU did it.

[Daniel_B]

Sure I can give a rundown, man.

Let me start by saying that speaking your mind is not an art or performance.
It is - however - facing a fear. If speaking your mind wasn't a fear then you could approach anyone on this planet (cause you want to approach them, right?). If there wasn't fear, you could do attempt to do anything you want to do, correct? Yes.

And when you think about it, speaking your mind is actually REALLY easy. You already know what you want to say, you already know what you would like to communicate, the only thing you need to learn is how to say it. So that's easy, right? Learn a bit of tonality and how to express yourself to facial gestures (Take a Public Speaking class if you have to!). This is the easy part, really, but is that enough? No, it's not.

I read many "gurus" saying "It's now what you say, but how you say it" and followed it blindly, getting not the things I wanted. Eventually I opened my eyes to my own truth (stop reading anything from these 'gurus') and realized that what I was lacking wasn't the skill, it was the psychology behind my actions, the emotions, I realize I wasn't reducing the FEAR. Not necesarily the fear of approaching, but the fear of doing what I REALLY wanted - and what I really wanted was to say whatever crossed my mind first, not some cheesy lines.

So, in reality - I came to the realization - that it was my psychology and not the skills. Anyone can develop a skill, yet very few succeed. Why? The psychology is different in those who succeed. They face their fears (their real fears) rather than avoiding them. So feel your fear and face it, feel the passion of doing so.

Once you're AWARE that it's how you think and not the skill, then you can change your thinking. Albert Einstein said once "The problems that we face can not be solved with the same level of thinking at which we created them". So change your thinking, focus on what you want, not on to not-get-what-you-don't-want and take action.

So all of that was really to tell you that there is no "secret" or art about speaking your mind. There is you, your fears, and whether you face them or not. I chose to face them, will you?

[Sharkman]

This is good shit I'm gonna try it !!!! Buckminster Fuller developed this Thinking Out Loud theory in the 60's and Brad Blanton also , with his Radical Honesty book.

“I live on Earth at present, and I don’t know what I am, I know I am not a category. I am not a thing—a noun. I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process—an integral function of the universe.”

-Buckminster Fuller

[Zenmind]

Great point Daniel!

I've found this:

Radical Honesty

"love is not a game of strategy"

Too often I'm searching some clever and flawless thing to say, only because I'm afraid to express my real intention with a positive focus or because I don't believe that I'm that interesting...