escalation, at home vs. club

[mycer]

I go out a lot. I'm 24 and i'm immersed in a party scene. I have no trouble at all escalating when i'm at a club. it comes so naturally to me. grab her hand walking through a crowd. stand close so you can hear her over the loud music with your hand on her lower back. this is easy for me. by the time we get in a cab she usually wants to make out (where of course i keep playfully pulling away).

what i realized is this last girl i was with, we met for drinks, sitting across eachother at a table. no escalation there. we walked 2 blocks to my house, it didnt feel right to put my hand on her lower back of grab her hand (maybe i should have?). got to my place and sat beside eachother on the couch as we looked over art books and had some conversation. at one point i put my hand on her back and she got kind of stiff so i casually took it off (maybe i should have started rubbing her back to loosen her up, but this at home escalation is new to me and i guess im lacking the confidence).

any tips on couch escalation? where to start? I've heard the DeAngelo hand massage or kiss test when you touch her hair but these dont really seem my style. this seems like more suited for older girls or at least more old fasion girls. im into the artsy party chicks, usually the type that can hang with guys.

any advice or tips? (my plan is to take her out to a party on the next date where i wont have trouble escalating but this is still something i'd like to work on)