weird problem...

[chileno]

Today I finally understand one big problem that I got and it probably affects others aspects of my interactions with woman.

I understand that, is not so much of a problem to go to have a talk with a woman, no matter how hot she look(of course I doubt a bit) but my problem is a little more deper...

Sometimes the woman respond better that other times of course.

But I have this problem: When the girls have responded good and wants me around, but I sense that they know that I'm there pick them up, I don't like the idea. It's retarded I know, but it's like the idea that I have that once a girl know that I'm there for what's normal for a man to do, I think that they see me like a desperate or something and I'm not that attractive anymore.

I don't know how to put it in words, but it's maybe the problem that many guys have, I care about what woman think of me. Yeah I think that's the description.

I talk today, because I approach 3 girls in the mall(alone, but I go with a friend), and the girls seem interested, and even the hotter, the one I talk to seem a bit nervous(cool feeling), I use some indirect approach but the girls obviosly know my agenda. And I don't like that and I left the set( I know retarded). But it's that my toughts and belives are not very good.

So what are you thing masters PUAs?
Any idea about this?
Hope some trainer of the drills or other master respond this.

[Mr. Incredible]

Chileno,

Do you feel ashamed that you want to have sex with these women? It's normal for you to want them, it's normal for them to want you too!

[chileno]

It's not like shame... I'm going to try to do my best to explain because it's the only way that you guys can help me.

For you to understand what going on inside of my mind, it's like I'm always try to not be less than the girl. So for example if a smooking hotie pass my way, many times I just be indiferent but looking if she look, and if she doesn't look I think something like "I don't attract hoties or that girl is lesbian or love the atention", instead of thinking something powerfull like "what can I do for that woman find me attractive or better, how can I gain the attention of this girl and attract her".

It's weird because once I read that maybe this feeling it's because I feel bad in beed or whatever, but that's not true, because once I got a woman in my beed I truly relax and enjoy the moment and for what I listen in the moment they really enjoy to.

I think that many time I have pay attention how I being percived and try to do my best to be percived as cool. It's just a habit.

Now I'm using the attraction code in everything, from walking to the street to talking to friends or girls in wherever... What I'm doing is correcting my thoughts to more functional or more positive, and really trying to concentrate in my task or intent. I hope that with time this new toughts become permanent a be my new me.

Anyone got experience with this, how long it's take?

Thanks mr. incredible for your concern.

[Lester]

first of eliminate trying to be perceived as cool or trying to look a way that she will find attractive. It makes you qualify yourself to her. You don't really know what she wants but you do know what you want. That's what you have control over what you want.

You haven't met her so how can you know what she finds attractive? you don't, but you do know what you find attractive.

how can you know why she didn't look at you, you don't, you're not in her head, you're not a mind reader. all you know is what you know.

if you find her attractive, if you want to approach her, that's what you know.

stick to what you want, and don't try to look cool for other people. Be you.

showing your interest can be powerful and attractive. i've approached girls with "hey I think you're cute and I want to talk to you."

[Zudnic]

Weird problem. Not really. Have a long answer that will take some more thinking before posting. Not really blaming them, but, both my last girlfriends combined laid the foundation for a simular problem I'm still sort of dealing with!

[Mr. Incredible]

I think something like "I don't attract hoties or that girl is lesbian or love the atention"

I think this may be an issue with negative self-talk. I've got a lot of that myself... One book on this is Shad Helmstetter's What do you say when you talk to yourself. The Sedona Method by Hale Dwoskin works too.

Or just discipline yourself to walk up and say whatever's on your mind before you think. I hope you won't say "I don't attract hotties" or "You're a lesbian", but nearly anything else is OK

[Zudnic]

How old are you? Whats the longest relationship you been in?

[chileno]

I got 22 years. Got 2 girlfriends, the first when I have 12(that last 1 year) and the second when I got 14 and that last more than a year.

But after that I just dated woman, once I date a woman for 8 months(the longiest), and in the last time I only got fuck bodies. I wanna be good in this before having a relantionship for real, you know got real freedom.

[Zudnic]

I noticed something a week ago in this girl. A very attractive girl in looks and she is also a tad exotic for this area. Her work did a bill board advertisement and she is pictured on it. My grammar has become weak because just started writing again since joining this forum. Not written anything long since school and that was 1998. Brothers best friend is Cuban and in Cuba worked at a Hotel so mostly English as his main language. Moving to America he makes himself and family use only English. Since being here for maybe 10 years, if a Spanish speaker speaks with him. He forgets a lot of words and if they speak fast he can barely understand them.

My degree is in film and television production. So have 4 years of University English courses. The teacher she made me want to be better for her. And I took her criticism well and new she was trying to make me better. So why is my grammar not very good. And my structure horrible. I seldom if ever practice what I learned. Bad habits also crept back in and has made my writing horrible. Also lose focus and wonder a bit in thoughts. My brain thinks fast and have attention deficit disorder. The other part of my degree dealt with building emotion in an audience. Say you are filming a fire at a building scene. You have a fire truck and a burning building. Fireman casually going into the building to fight this fire. When the audience watches this scene how much emotion does this create? Not much its just a building burning and the fireman are casually going inside big deal. Who cares its just a building and the professional fire fighters are not fighting very hard. Not visual with emotion. So you want the audience to care. You show the fire truck and then move to a picture of a kids toy in water with flame shadow around it. You have slow urgent music playing. The firemen in slow motion struggling up their ladders and getting inside the building. You cut to picture of other people watching a few kids that obviously lived in the building. Suddenly the audience cares. Fight the fire dammit get inside more kids could be inside. Then show a kid trapped and the firemen struggling to find him.

The girl who is exotic and looks very good for this area. Is very very nice. Like she should be teaching small children nice. Bet Women and even some men treated her like she is so hot she must be a bitch. Women especially look at her and go she can get any man--the bitch! So she became so nice even her picture makes her look uncomfortable. She has turned off her sexy a extra advantage. I'm going to tell her this the next time I see her! Your overly nice because you don't want people treating you differently because your overly attractive.... You turned off your sexy so people will like you and see a nice sweet little girl instead. Your extra advantage makes people treat you differently and you don't feel liked by Women your peers! So your too nice and even shows in your pictures.

This will sound bad. I had one of the people who work with me kids over to my house over the weekend. Have a pool. The mother was supervising. One was the son who is 16 and he brought his girlfriend. Very cute girl. I was talking cars with the kid. And telling him about my illegal street racing when I was his age.

Girlfriend: are you guys talking about cars (she was smiling)

Me: Yes. if you were not around we'd be talking about girls (smiling)

She laughed and the poor kid I was talking with cars with sat stiff stopped talking and had a oh god she is going to give me sh*t latter fear on his face. He didn't see my whip mocking towards him. She did and blushed giggled at that. She owns his a$$. He is whipped by her. The problem she can alter his behavior in seconds. A girl like that. Well she may even know subconsciously what attracted her to him. She knows other Women will see it. If its extra special and really attracts girls. She will do everything in her power to turn it off to keep her man. He will and could become like you!!!! Because he his scared she will stop loving him if he doesn't. Soon when they do break up. His subconscious will tell him no Women will love him if he turns his sexy back on..................... he becomes a nice wuss that no longer attracts Women

[chileno]

Hey Zudnic...
The first time I read your post, seems like wherever. But after read it again, well it's get better.
I like the idea about really have the power to attract any girls. I feel this way sometimes and the woman respond really good when I feel this way. I decide tu put my sexi back on, nice.

[chileno]

Also interesting about that if a woman find that you are really good in

sparking attraction inside females, she is going to turn that of, and that is

ultimate the thing that's going to kill her attraction as well. Woman are

fucking crazy.

[Zudnic]

Originally Posted by chileno

Also interesting about that if a woman find that you are really good in

sparking attraction inside females, she is going to turn that of, and that is

ultimate the thing that's going to kill her attraction as well. Woman are

fucking crazy.

Some are more crazy over others. Its just a weird observation of mine. Cause dated the queen of almost direct fucking crazy. Think its a subconscious level thing. That gets worse if she notices other girls checking you out and responding to you! You here things like: "honey you talk too much!" Hence why its often said married guys lose their balls and even are dead inside. Note the term pussy whipped. The married guy who has a favorite shirt, jacket or even just recliner chair from their single (glory) days. Note the wife and or girlfriend always hates those things. Know would not fully blame Women for our problems, but do believe they laid the foundation. Interesting that guys make fun of friends over the clothes girlfriends buy them!

[Zudnic]

Note also when we break up we focus on what we did wrong! Normally not what we did right to get them in the first place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[chileno]

Yeah man.
I never think about this little things, interesting.
The girl a dated for long time said "you talk to much", when she see the efect that chileno got in his "gold times"... I never think about this things. I got a little self concius, what a idiot.


Ohh, I almoust forget it, FUCK CRAZY WOMAN MAN.

[Zudnic]

Oh its mostly your fault because you want the Women to like "YOU" the real one so they will stay with you!

Interesting side note: ever notice that people in relationships slowly become like the same person. Old "happy" married people in the long term even start looking the same, as well as sharing almost the same "personality". If you have the personality that you can be friends with practically everyone but not really close with any body! Social loaner. Add in a need to be liked beyond "attraction". You get into problems like this.