Feeling a bit confused

[laces]

Ok,I keep having these conflicting feelings and emotions about all this "success with women" thing.
I was on holiday last week so I was in a totally different location in the country and got through a few e-books I wanted to read.This out me into the mindset of "yeah,I really want to get this done,its gonna be great.I want to be a super player with loads of women" and was really looking forward to getting back into approaching and stuff after a long year of not doing anything at all (apart from inner game stuff).
Anyways,Im home now and all I can feel is a strong apprehension and discomfort about going out at all,let alone talking to women.Its like I think about it and then think "whats the point?what good will I get out of it apart from sex?how will my life be enriched or any better by women?".
I dont know,I guess I feel a lot better on my own as its the way things have always been,I do everything alone.
Its liike,I was in the club the other week,just sitting and chilling watching the girls dance and the guys dance and alll the groups of guys and girls together and kissing and whatever,then thought of my mates all going for the girls and getting laid etc and I really didnt care.None of it mattered to me so I never bother talking to any girls at all.
But then sometimes I think about further in my future if I stay this way.I`ll still be alone but I wont be or have been a player and it makes me worry Im missing out on all these experiences I could have.
Its really weird,like a total conflict all the time.
Has anyone been through this?Any tips?
Cheers.