Text Messages

[Mr Grivver]

So one of my sticking points is that I don’t approach enough when I see a hot girl (which I blame on fear and years being told I had to come up with some line that would impress her, makes me stand out, etc).

The other is that I have a hard time after I have met a girl. Once I’m talking to them, I do fine. A good percentage like me and things move along, but often I have to leave. I have a hard time starting things up after this. I use text messages in normal life a lot, so I try texting – but I haven’t been having a lot of luck getting responses.

I have usually been texting later the night we met saying it was awesome to meet them. I would also send one a day later or so, mentioning something interesting that just happened to me, but that didn’t have a question or ask for her response. I believe Vin had said to do that. However, no responses.

So, what do you guys do when you contact them again? What sort of texts do you send? And how soon/regularly? This is where I’ve been dropping the ball recently. Should I just be calling them at some point? I don’t have any trouble generating conversation. I feel a little desperate though if I keep sending unanswered texts, and ditto if I call them after unanswered texts.

Any help appreciated,
Mr. Grivver

[sam]

hello

I read an article about this from the approach:
I could help you. I had the same problem like you before,this
helped me:

It's no secret that girls love text messaging. Especially cutegirls. You can see them click-click-clicking away on their cellphones, texting like crazy (or, 'SMS'ing for all y'all Europeancats). Men typically don't like it. But after today, you will. The reason? Texting makes it easier for you to get women, andcommunicate with them. The great thing about texting is that a textis not a yes/no proposition. You want to give women opportunities to say yes to you WITHOUTforcing them to say no. Texting is better than calling a girlbecause a girl will always read a text message. If a girl gets acall from you, and doesn't answer, it bodes poorly for you. It'swhat we call "rejected compliance" - you're effectively asking forsomething (for her to answer her phone) just by calling. If she sees her phone ringing and doesn't answer, it's like shewent against what you were after. No good. Texting solves that problem - it also lets girls who are interestedshow it without forcing girls who aren't interested to say no. I text every girl in my phone every 3-4 days. The texts are justfun, show a little of my personality, and fill the girls in onwhat's going on in my life. I write the texts for myself, because Ilike to - NOT to impress or please her. And I NEVER ask for aresponse, or ask a question. I give opportunities to respondwithout making her feel bad or like she's going against what I wantby not responding. I sent texts like: After first meeting a girl:GOOD: so fun to make new friends GOOD: u are such a sweetheart! thanks for sharing umbrullaGOOD: ur the cutest thing ever. happy i met u BAD: cool meeting u. what u doing thurs?BAD: want to hang on fri? To keep in touch:GOOD: i just got the most fly pair of jeans ever for $12. i'm pumpedGOOD: so warm out! it's cowboy hat weatherGOOD: my puppy is ridiculousBAD: whats going on?BAD: havent talked to u in a while. whats up?BAD: hey whats new To invite her to spend time with you:GOOD: hitting the museum fine art on tues. buzz me if you get in anartistic moodGOOD: if u have a lot of energy after work, we're salsaing and u'dfit right in.GOOD: u totally have to meet my friend maria. u two are likesisters seperated at birthBAD: want to come to museum on tues?BAD: we're going salsa dancing tonight, want to come? After spending time with her:GOOD: had so much fun. *hugs*GOOD: i'm safe, warm, & happy. mmm sleep tight darlinGOOD: u are way too nice i had so much funBAD: did u have fun?BAD: are you home yet? Leave those questions alone! Ask questions only after you get intoa texting "back and forth" conversation, and even then, onlysparingly. But DO text - My rule is I do not call a girl until shehas returned at least one text. It saves a lot of time too. Learnto love it, fellas.


greetz SAM

[superman]

How To Text Message Women (with Examples)

Originally posted on the PickUp 101 Private Lounge

I use text messages a lot. In my opinion, it is a key tool available for interacting with women. I think they are better than phone AND email. They are quick, easy to respond to, and private. They can be light and friendly, fun and flirty, seductive, or downright nasty. I have had text message conversations that fit into all of these. I have even gotten my freak on, text style.

Sean Newman has posted up some really great stuff about sending dirty text messages to your girl. This is a great idea, and if you are not doing it, you are missing out on a great chance to make your girl VERY happy. I would send messages as he describes to my last girlfriend every now and then, to remind her how hot she was for me. She loved it.

Walter also made a great post about using text messages in the time between when you meet a girl and when you get her over for a date.

I want to try to put together some general thoughts on "text message game".

Text messages should be short and fun, and flirty, charming or seductive. There is no place for logic in a text message. If things start going logical in a text message convo, then you need to stop, or redirect the conversation right away.

Usually a girl will initially react generically, ie. Boring, to a text message you send. Girls aren't used to guys flirting with them with text message. Yet. You have to ramp it up immediately after her response. If you send something like, "hey cutie, thinking of me much? smilie ", chances are you will get a response like "haha, how are you?" Now, you can't respond, "I'm fine, how R U?" That's weak sauce. We want the strong sauce. A better response would be, "I was gonna kidnap you to vegas and get us married by elvis, but nevermind..smilie" However she responds, you can then respond "yeah, married by the fat elvis…"

That's a taste of my sauce's flavor.
My RULES for text messages:

1. I always address them with pet names like darlin', sweetie, cutie pie, sexy, gorgeous, adorable brat, etc.

2. I use proper grammar. I don't use the normal abbreviations. If you do, U R 2 stop. I do abbreviate stuff like family to "fam", San Francisco to SF, etc. I hope I don't have to say this, but NEVER USE LEET SPEAK (wikipedia it if you don't know). Know the difference between "your" and "you're", "to" and "too", etc. A side rule to this, the more sexual the message, the more proper the grammar you should use. Which feels sexier, "I want 2 slowly kiss Ur lips…" or "I want to slowly kiss your lips…"?

3. Sign your name when it is the first one or two text messages you send (credit: Robert1). All you do is write your text, then at the end add "-Sean." Replace "Sean" with your own name though, or include my cell phone number in the text if you don't.
4. I use a lot of smiley faces This replaces the big friendly smile you would have on your face when you deliver a banter line. Text messages should basically be banter lines. I do not use any other faces other than smiley faces. No winky face no "P" face (I actually don't even know what this is supposed to mean), etc. Some might disagree, but personally I think this borders on leet speak, which is not ok. Furthermore, I want my words to convey my message. If my words, punctuation and a smiley face aren't enough, then I feel I am doing something wrong.

5. I use rich descriptions. If I do say how I am doing, I make it descriptive. In response to "how R U?" I might reply "Just saw the sunset over the bay, the sky's glowing orange - looks incredible!"

6. Jump on the offers a girl makes. An "offer" is a term from improv acting. It is when one actor says something that describes something about the other actor.

Example,one actor says to the other, "I like that large funny hat you have on", the other actor then would go on with that theme of wearing a large funny hat.

It is a little different with text messages, but if a girl sends you something that you can make fun and sexy, do it. For example, I got a text message from one of the girls the other night, "buenas noches. Dulces suenos guapo." [translates: good night. Sweet dreams, handsome]. I replied the next morning by writing, "good morning, beautiful. Have a good day." Except I wrote it in french. I took her theme, and replied in a way that was similar, but original and charming.

Your TOOLS:

Brevity: You have to say everything very quickly. If you can't say it in about 10 to 20 words, then rework it until you can. It is ALWAYS possible to flirt in less than 12 words, in my opinion. If you don't think so, "you are a dork smilie " (see, it is that easy). Get rid of everything and anything that is not necessary, by not necessary I mean not flirty and fun.

Punctuation: The main punctuation techniques I use are CAPS, ellipses… exclamation!!! Question marks?? both?!?!, [brackets], and (parenthesis). And smiley face as I mentioned before smilie These all have different emotional effects, use them! Caps are REALLY EXCITING!! Wtf?!? [roll my eyes] don't make me.. come over there… and wrap my arms around you… (I won't spank tooo hard)

WHEN to use text:

ALL THE TIME!! You can send a girl a text a day or so after you meet her, before a day2, after a day 2, after sex, when she is your girlfriend, etc. Text messaging is a good way to stay in contact with a girl that you can't see often. I think that phone and email should mainly be used to set up meets, but for pure flirting, text is better.
What NOT to say:

Cock. Balls. Dick. Pussy. Fuck. Shit. Unless you have established that these words get your girl off. Don't say anything negative. The things you send should make you smile when you think about sending them. This can be a sly smirk, a big fun smile, or a seductive smile, but it should be positive.
OVERALL:

I think the most important thing is to try to make the girl smile. That is the point of all this. It doesn't matter if she responds. You should only be trying to write something that will make her feel good, or feel special, or feel sexy when she reads it. You are NOT fishing for getting anything back. You should be inspiring her to want to send you a text back.

Pay attention to the subtext of the text. Often times what is really being said is not what the words actually are. The obvious example is a late night text asking if you are out and about means "I want you to come home with me". Subcommunication is pretty complicated. I won't really get into it. I do suggest paying attention to it though.

This all may take a little practice. Lord knows I have sent off some dumb text messages.

I am gonna dig into my text message past to give examples:
Examples:

Here's an example of a text message sent to a woman a few days after the number close. The pretext was that we would go jogging together some time. This was our first contact:

"How's my new running buddy. You ready to RUMBLE! smilie Sean."

It's playful, and I signed my name, because it was my first contact with her after meeting her, per rule 3 above.

* * * *

I posted this next one as an example a while ago, but I thought it was really good, so I am using it again. I like it because I keep going back to flirting over and over in the conversation, and because I wrote it down for posterity, so I have it for use as an example (most good examples just get deleted from my phone):

Sean: Hey sexy. How is my adorable little brat? smilie

A: Haha…just fine! And u?

Sean: Great! The sun is finally out, spring is in the air, I love it!

A:It was 86 here today! Its gonna be a hot summer.

Sean: You like it hot?

A: I like it warm and breezy

Sean: Hmmm… Interesting… Says a lot about you. So when I call later, are you gonna answer? I can't believe I even have to ask… smilie

[note: I had called twice and she didn't answer both times, but she sent me texts back apologizing for not being able to talk]

A: Haha..call @ 1030 and i will answer smilie

Sean: That's past my bedtime. I'll have to call my mom for permission.

A: Dork smilie

Sean: Ah, baby, I love you too.

A: Call me @ 1030..i should be done by then

Sean: If you're not, I'm filing for divorce smilie

A: Haha..u make me smile

Sean: Yup. Talk later. smilie

* * * *

Here's one I sent to my last girlfriend. It is an example of a seductive text. I sent it in the middle of the day, while she was at work:

"my hand across your bare back, you feel my breath in your ear… and I pull your body against mine… you feel my heat as our skin touches like silk…"

I think she replied with something like "It's getting hot in here", so I just kept this description going for a few more texts.

* * * *

Here's what I sent to a girl right after leaving her apartment late at night, after we hooked up on the first date:

"Goodnight. XXOO"

This was meant to be reassuring and make her feel good about what we did all night, and to make her smile one last time that night.

* * * *

Here's an example of ignoring her logical question and responding in an emotional/charming/seductive way. It starts with a general ping, just to get the ball rolling:

Sean: Hope you have a good day (night) at work. Kiss kiss

D: Ahhhh……Thank u …Did u have to teach? [at the weekend workshop]

Sean: Mmmm… Thinking about your delicious kisses..

D: Your way to good to be true smilie sweet dreams

I totally ignored her question, and just responded with something much better. I am pretty sure she is glad she got the text that she did, rather than the answer to her question.

* * * *

Enjoy, and don't do anything I wouldn't do..

[diablo]

texting is GREAT.
keep texting Grivver... KEEP TEXTING.
don't give up on this...
if it doesn't work... meet more girls, and text them all!
i've got tons of exact text conversations from my phone on my computer.
i could send you some if you'd like...
there are some nuggets of gold in them.

[ITotem]

Texting is great to keep the intrigue up, but at some point, you should still call the girl to develop the emotional connection. You can get the interaction/relationship moving a lot faster with a phone call.

Besides, do you want to be called the random guy who keeps on texting random stuff every few days? I know most girls enjoy texting b/c it's fun... but in terms of dating, texting can't replace a good phone call. Some girls do think that texting is the wussy way for guys to talk to girls.

[diablo]

i agree itotem... some girls do find texting a wussy way to talk....
and you keep the texts to a minimum to avoid that.

it IS possible to meet the girl...
give her your number, then have her call you on the spot (Compliance, and so you have her number).
texting her minimal times...
maybe enough to get a smiley or a "haha"
then asking her to meet you somewhere THROUGH a text...
and then telling her to call YOU when SHE gets there...
and voila, you've met up with her... and bypassed the phone game.
plus she called you (compliance).