I don't get it. She gives me number and still flaky

[Pupilofsex]

I don't want to break the forum rules here or nothing by not contributing something positive and rehashing some mundane questions, but the little things do baffle, and this is one of them.

Im soon to set my approach goals and before I do, this waitress whom Ive known for off and on for 9 months gives me her number about a week ago.

Here is the story. There is this 33 year old single somewhat hottie waitress (no kids if that matters) who I made a great connection with. We would talk, chit chat, bullshit about whatever for 30 minutes (especially on a slow night).

I could tell she has the hots for me but I never capitalized on it (which was my mistake for not taking advantage of oppurtunities when they present themselves as described on Vin's product and here...but I always looked at her as a very nice waitress..and no more)


She bumps into me after work as I was walking around the casino and says.."hmmph.......just give me your phone number already" She gives me a hug prior to this. Im feeling good about this. We exchange numbers. Told her not to call me since I lost my cell (which I bought a few days later anyway).
Called her left a voicemail a few days later (mistake number two, waiting too long to call). Think she was at work. Met her at work while I was eating and said that her phone wasnt working for not paying bill or something like that.

I said Ill call her a few days later. I did. Left a voicemail and text telling her to get back to me. She hasn't.

Now even when I was half way decent playing the game about a year or so ago, this was one of my sticking points. Im good when I meet the girl and get things going, but phone game has been my sticking point. Ive been listening to Vin's Phone Game section and learning stuff, but I still don't get this (well...I may).

Especially when a girl GAVE me her number and was excited to see me. Only thing I can think of is not me capitalizing right away and that maybe after she gave me her number she said to herself "did I just throw myself at him? how embarrasing. now im going to play a little hard to get."

Dont know. One thing I do know is that I need lots of improvement and need to improve on set up/phone game.

And no, this is not a pre one-itis type of thing, lol. This area has been a weakpoint of mine. Laterz

[spark]

as soon as you get her number say you're going to send an sms to her together, like this

"hey gimmie your number, awesome, wait i have an idea, let's sms you something ....okay, it goes -> read it out to her as you type, make it seem like it's spontaneous, so pause every now and again <- (hey jess, i just met the cutest girl her name's jess too, you'd really like her, she has this strange odor but she's pretty fun, most of the time talk soon xoxo)

Then ask if that's enough kisses and hugs for an sms, and whatever she says, do the opposite, so if she says that's enough xoxo's do some more, if she says that's not enough, just leave it as it is.

Every time i've used this the girl has sms'd me within hours and the flirting has been ....outrageous.

[funkyrhino]

even though she's single there could be someone else in her life actively - an ex that won't go away etc. I've dealt with those issues before.

Also understand that women will look for reasons NOT to go out with you.
Safety, breaking social awkwardness, lack of value in their eyes or commonalities , etc

Think she was at work. Met her at work while I was eating and said that her phone wasnt working for not paying bill or something like that.

Why aren't you setting up a date while you see her at work instead of getting the number and then calling to get the date?


I think she's in passive mode, There isn't enough attraction built for her to say OMG he's calling let me answer!! For me I'm in passive mode usually
when the level of attraction is low, and my level of interest has dwindled down. You're going to have to make her chase a bit. Right now her
temperature is cool IMO and she feels she can capitalize on the opportunity
whenever she sees fit.

[005]

I have been having the same problem. I get plenty of numbers, about 3 a night when I go out for pickup, but 90 percent of them turn out to flake.

I use the (I’ll give you a call/Do you have a cell phone to close) but I am not sure if I am doing it right because ever since I change my number close, I had more number but more flakes…lol! They usually do not answer or return my message. If they answer the first time I call, which is rare, we usually on talk for about 5 minutes then after that I wait two days and call or text but I usually get no reply.

I meet most women at the club or bar because I am a graveyard shift worker and on my days off that is where I usually end up when I want to go out. I am not sure if I am not connecting enough with them at the location or not vibing good enough over the phone?

[Pupilofsex]

hey guys interesting responses. the girl actually did call back for the record. ill explain reasons reasons as funkyrhino was right on at least one of them.

spark that looks like another cool tactic to use. getting them intrigued and all is where its at.

funkyrhino, well she did finally call. she told me that she had problems with her phone. and after a so so date last night she tried to tell me something she didntt want to tell me at first.
she went on a half hour monologue about her ex stalking her.lol. involving police about a year ago. and how her voicemail box is full from his phone calls.

the strange thing is that she told me how she will not bring a guy to her house for a few months until she gets to know him because of the stalking incident. hmmmm...she is still willing to plan stuff with me on her days off yet scared to invite at her pad. hmmm...lol...

anyhow, thanks for the response.

[diablo]

Originally Posted by Pupilofsex

hey guys interesting responses. the girl actually did call back for the record. ill explain reasons reasons as funkyrhino was right on at least one of them.

spark that looks like another cool tactic to use. getting them intrigued and all is where its at.

funkyrhino, well she did finally call. she told me that she had problems with her phone. and after a so so date last night she tried to tell me something she didntt want to tell me at first.
she went on a half hour monologue about her ex stalking her.lol. involving police about a year ago. and how her voicemail box is full from his phone calls.

the strange thing is that she told me how she will not bring a guy to her house for a few months until she gets to know him because of the stalking incident. hmmmm...she is still willing to plan stuff with me on her days off yet scared to invite at her pad. hmmm...lol...

anyhow, thanks for the response.

THIS IS THE PART WHEN YOU TELL HER HOW YOU'VE BEEN STALKED TOO.
or how some girl wouldn't stop calling you...
or how you wish some people could just CHILL.
when she says she wont bring a guy over for a few months, it really just mean she wont bring someone over till she trusts him.
so you don't need to wait a few fucking months! lol
treat her as a friend.... bring her out to bars with you... (if you've done this type of thing before and know how to do it right)...
create some trust... and she will fuck quick!
it sounds like that's all she needs....
let her hang out with you and your friends... to show that YOU'RE ALL COOL.
and she can trust all of you....
just in case her ex shows up... she knows that you and all your friends know the story about him and his weirdness.