reputation

[sam]

Hi,

I have a little problem. I've a reputation of player.
All the girls of my town and school think i can fuck every girl.
I even heard things I never did. (like having sex with 3 girls every party...)
This is not really a problem but last night I went out with a girl
i realy like and when i wanted to kiss her she told me:
'sorry we can't have a relation I wouldn't trust you because all the things i heard about you..." I said she didn't had to believe that but...

What should i do about that?

[FreeVerse]

Originally Posted by sam

Hi,

I have a little problem. I've a reputation of player.
All the girls of my town and school think i can fuck every girl.
I even heard things I never did. (like having sex with 3 girls every party...)
This is not really a problem but last night I went out with a girl
i realy like and when i wanted to kiss her she told me:
'sorry we can't have a relation I wouldn't trust you because all the things i heard about you..." I said she didn't had to believe that but...

What should i do about that?

I've had that problem as well. Mr. Popular, The Bad Boy. Everyone thinking I got 500 girlfriends...

Put your foot down. (in a calm way, don't be an asshole.) Tell her if she want's to believe in rumors, then she's welcome, but when she's with you, Tell, her that's not what should be on her mind. Would she rather have fun or think about what people have to say. Tell her, you're not like that, That's not what you're about, you don't care about what people say and you're not trying to get with her for them and what they think about you and her doesn't matter to you. Tell her she should do the same.

[mantispalm]

My two cents...
You have an opportunity here.
Develop the warm, compassionate and open side of yourself, with congruent attitudes and body language.
Don't be a wuss, but be genuinely interested in your targets and establishing and maintaining strong emotional connections with them.

The reputation will remain, but the women around you will be intrigued by the difference between your rep and your personality.
Often intrigue comes from contrasts like that.

I've had the same problem. I live in a small city in a small country.
I've dropped my player vibe, but the rep remains.
But the rep doesn't have to be a handicap.

[edit]:
I'm interested in what other people think about this problem, this solution, and other possible solutions.

[sam]

thanks!!

I'll try it, but i know that my reputation won't change so fast...

[diablo]

keep your rep thx.
if you lose it... what will people think of you?
what do you want people to think of you?
if you lose this rep...
you might lose some girls who want you cuz they know you can give them pleasure, cuz you give ALL the girls pleasure
make one of them your exclusive girlfriend.
and depending on what you want... cheat on her with all her friends or don't.

there's nothing "bad" about the player vibe...
especially if you always have girls with you...
a lot of girls look at you and want to see if they can "tame" you...
your a challenge...

i think your rapport may have been a little of with this particular girl...

[FreeVerse]

Originally Posted by diablo

keep your rep thx.
if you lose it... what will people think of you?
what do you want people to think of you?
if you lose this rep...
you might lose some girls who want you cuz they know you can give them pleasure, cuz you give ALL the girls pleasure
make one of them your exclusive girlfriend.
and depending on what you want... cheat on her with all her friends or don't.

there's nothing "bad" about the player vibe...
especially if you always have girls with you...
a lot of girls look at you and want to see if they can "tame" you...
your a challenge...

i think your rapport may have been a little of with this particular girl...

Not wrong with those type of vibes... but it can be irratating if people have the same idea of who you ave before they even met you. It's like, to them it's all you are and at times it can be superficial... and it's hard to find things fulfilling if they're superficial.

[Brian]

I have the same problem in my town. Fortunately I'm moving soon.

That girl was way out of line for accusing you of such things, when she doesn't even know you. It's the equivalent of you outright calling her a slut. She thinks she can get away with it because she thinks she's the prize, and since she's a girl, she can be an asshole. I would have "corrected" her.

What's worked for me:

If she accuses me of being a player, tell her she is being rude, presumptious, and it's none of her business. How would she like it if I called her a slut, without knowing anything about her except rumors from other people. Have her tell you about a time she was hurt because of false rumors. then ask her why she'd do that to someone, knowing how much it hurt her.

Maybe there's a smoother way, but this is how I honestly feel. For me, I've had great success flipping the script on girls and putting them on the defensive - not to manipulate, but to show them that they are being ignorant, and I know they are better than that.

[Brian]

Also, you could just tease her without admitting anything, and run the kino ladder/kiss ramp. Kino trumps words.

Sounds like she was a little resistant though - I wasn't there.

[Insanity]

meh, you just bought into her frame..

dude seriously, fuck what she says just be non reactive.
you responded to it and were lke damn she caught me thats how things are guess im done.

player vibe/rumour is whatever...
your value is high but girls will have a harder time believing they have a shot at you.

You demonstrate yourself theough your actions not some others stories.
Just be nonreactive n prove otherwise,

bla bla your such a player never trust you cant have a relation.

i wouldve just been like, whoa..... well that was odd... looks like you have alot on your chest.......... . . in need of any more venting?

in a nonreactive , kind of busting but warm way, not arrogant.
like it doesnt phase you , its her issue and you say it in a way that kind of exposes how weird that was (because it is, shes been out with you all night , then she gives that whole story wtf.. that was kinda uncalled for wouldnt you say lmfao geez) but your not laughing at her your still warm , but at the same time your like uhmm... ..

ya know.
then just continue talking do more game do more connecting dominating etc whatever feels is needed just continue to have the fun n fun vibe, then do it again later..


Some other thing i may do is kind of like what brian i think said, is something along the lines of '' well its tobad you judge people on rumours n stories instead of getting to know a person and judge him on your experience, etc etc'' because it would irritate me.


but honestly the player rumour bs shouldnt really be that big of a problem..
just means she needs more attainability your value is skyhigh,
work the credability.

but it may also be something in your whole vibe or something, because really who said anything about a relationship? wtf u guys were kissing...

with me, girls dont even think about a relationship, they figure if it feels good they wanna hit it then after sex and it all changes shes gonna want to make me her bf.. (if i do my shit well anyway)

this hasnt been a real issue for me yet, and i give out a playervibe.

[raki™]

my 2 cents.

I say, if given the chance even to speak and rebutt, what i say which i find effective is "I dunno, i guess the reason people like me is that deep inside, they know i like them too.."

...and take it from there.

First off. I did not react in a negative way, reacting negatively could spell insecurity to what i exude ('the player vibe'). What I'm thinking is that i should be someone who is in control of his faculties, even the vibe i give off. And that i'm perfectly comfortable with whatever that is and that i make no excuses off it nor phased by it nor find it a disadvantage. If that's how i come off then that's how i come off. Nothing beats attraction more than insecurity (maybe there are others, but i'm sure insecurity is included in there if there ever were a list). Remember you're UNSHAKEABLE (I just thought i might include this, cuz i like it: "Youre a force of Nature! Saying a tornado destroys things doesn't diminish it's power".. haha, i just thought of that just now.. i like it.. ). And the 'line' above even gives a 'spike' to my already lovable personality, and that people in general.. likes me.. I generally like them.. and maybe even her..

Second. Women don't know what they want. I knew a girl who said at the onset that she wouldn't want to be in any way linked to an X. (X = Me), but i laid her on Day2. So does she unconsciously like X? Or don't she? Well who knows? What i know is they can say one thing and then do the other. So by giving the line above a 'run' it won't deny that i might be a player but it wont admit to it either. I can still be any of the things that she might like without verbally digging myself into deep shit.

Third. err... i got no third..

[raki™]

Originally Posted by raki™

First off. I did not react in a negative way, reacting negatively could spell insecurity to what i exude ('the player vibe'). What I'm thinking is that i should be someone who is in control of his faculties, even the vibe i give off. And that i'm perfectly comfortable with whatever that is and that i make no excuses off it nor phased by it nor find it a disadvantage. If that's how i come off then that's how i come off. Nothing beats attraction more than insecurity (maybe there are others, but i'm sure insecurity is included in there if there ever were a list).

..anyway, there is something similar in S3 where a girls calls you cheezy. And Vin's solution is to shrug it off and totally ignore the 'bad behavior' and say "What did you say baby? Did you say cheeze? I love cheeze" or something like that.. and his reason was that it won't put emphasis on being called cheezy, you're not reacting in a negative way, totally ignoring the 'negative' comment and amping up the interaction.